The Daily Victim Returns March 1, 2002!
For over a year the Daily Victims have had a special place in our hearts, next to the black spot and right by the valve that's planning to fail in about 20 years. We've shared their Joy, we've languished in their sorrows. We drank too much caffeine, and we ate The Sauce.
Together we lost our pants, failed American history, and suffered through Intense Horror and Satanic PC Peripherals.
Yet always the victims were there, whether polishing our fighting skills or playing too much Tribes. Like you, they gloated over low pings and suffered the injustice of lag. They were also sometimes naked. Frequently they left you feeling a little dirty, but that's neither here nor there.
Together we had A DREAM! We were PIMPS in electric pants! Sure, we wanted Quake 3 and got puppies instead. But that didn't stop us from celebrating the season.
One victim ate an entire hot dog during the SSX loading screen.
We stuck together. Even when we got the ladies room, even when the ladies took it back. Like any gamer, a good Victim never gives up.
And now, despite a short recess and a change in artist, the Victims are coming back. March 1st, by popular demand, the Daily Victim will return to GameSpy! Who's the new artist? What perverse antics await? You'll just have to tune in to find out. The Daily Victims are coming back! And remember: If you're not laughing with them, it's because they're laughing at you.
Thanks to everyone who mailed in their support for the return of the Daily Victim, especially those who foreswore bathing and procreation until the return. Although the one vow sorta helped the other.
Score: 8.05; Total Votes: 420 as of 2009-12-09.
If They Bring Back the Daily Victim, I Promise -- I'll Wax More than My Hands
The World Conspires to Keep 'State of Emergency' Out of My Innocent, Childlike Hands
Links In This Article
- Night-shift Tech Support Is an Abyss of Pure, Screaming Horror
- My 14-Inch Monitor Is a Total Embarassment at LAN Parties
- Hot Damn! the Ladies' Room Is Open Season!
- Hot Diggity! This New Matrix Action Figure Sitting on Top of My Monitor Will Affirm My Status as a Badass!
- The Daily Victim Christmas Special
- I Asked for the Quake 3 Expansion for Christmas, but All I Got Was a Stupid Puppy
- When It Comes to Online Gaming, I Find That the Mud Community Is the Best Place in Which to Mate with Animals.
- You Understand, I Lost My Pants on a Worms Armageddon Bet. It Was Foolish, but I Had the Sheep, and Thought I Could Do No Wrong.
- I'm Not Naked in Real Life, but I Play a Naked Person on My PC.
- What!? You're Turning the Mens' Room Back into a Ladies' Room Again? Good God Man, You Can't Let Them Back in There!
- How Do I Win All My LAN Parties? I Credit the Sauce!
- Failure to Blink During an Intense Game of Tribes 2 Has Hardened My Contact Lenses beyond Repair
- Mr. Henderson, I Take Issue with Your Most Recent Thesis, Entitled 'C1V1L W4R: 4 7URN1NG P01N7 1N 4M3R1C4N H1S70RY'
- I Put the 'Ow' in 'Low Ping'
- As an Arcade Attendant of Five Years, I Can Say with Certainty That Creeping Horror Is Not a Usual Fixture of Palace Park Amusements.
- What Salon.com Fails to Realize Is That I Dressed like a Pimp Long before I Became a Game Developer
- An Extremely Talented Individual -- like Myself -- Can Eat an Entire Hot Dog During the Loading Screen of an SSX Map
- Stella, No! You Push Down to Crouch, Then Press High-punch to Uppercut!
- Whenever I Talk with Max, It Feels like One of Us Is Lagging
- Tell Ma I Done Gone to Austin to Be a Rich and Famous Game Developer
- Those Fewls Insist I Abandon the Glove and the Dark Feedback-forcing Arts It Embodies