California's renewed power problems have forced me offline in a continuing desperate search for analog entertainment possibilities. Today I am attempting what insiders refer to as "Badminton." The appeal of a game that has "bad" in the title is lost on me. How does one market these foolish preoccupations? I am confused. However, according to the box, this game is multiplayer -- which is why I have gathered you here, today.

So, then, the four of us, we're like two "clans," and we are competing for the ... "court," this green arena-shaped level here. Now then, the objective, as I understand it, is this "Birdie." I fail to see the resemblence to any sort of fowl. It's white and has a red plastic cranium. It looks very dangerous. I have no qualms about beating it, hard.

So then, my Bald, Unmployed Clanmate here will then "serve" the "birdie" to your team. Ready? 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... FIGHT!

*thwack*

Ah ... ah yes, we seem to have hit a snag. See, your clanmate, the Woman with the Pengiun, has caught the birdie and is now defending it. The object is to "hit" the unpleasant pheasant back over the "net" where I will attempt to smack it extremely hard with my oblong bird-beating stick here. This is wholly unsatisfying. Is there any way to reboot this server?