Okay hon, I love you, but let's take it easy with the cursed berserking sword stories, okay? They just don't go over well with the people at the hospital.

Oh no, I'm not trying to say your stories about playing Baldur's Gate II aren't exciting. I mean, look, whenever I can stay awake I enjoy them. What I'm saying is, frankly, if you bring up that Cursed Berserking Sword -- I'm sorry, it was a +3 berserking sword, I understand that lemme finish -- if you bring it up at the party? I will suplex you into the mini bar.

Please try to see it my way honey, these people have just worked overtime holiday shifts. Just yesterday, for instance, we had to treat a guy who came in after some woman at an ISP attacked him with a desk fan. Or this evening, when someone claimed to have sustained a brutal Madden 2001 injury? Do you think they want to hear about your new broadsword (sorry, +3 two-handed cursed berserking sword I know I know)?

So, we'll make a deal. I promise not to bring up the fact that you were laid off from your part-time job at foto hut, provided you promise me -- pinky swear -- that you won't talk about your sword. Or the staff. Or the armor of the undead. Or your new halfling character.

Alternatively, I will chuck your ass through a plate glass window.