Just ‘cuz a guy plays as a chick in an RPG isn’t any reason to nullify his online wedding. Er, HER wedding.

It should’ve been the happiest day of my online character’s life. Lady Gloria Perfectteeth was to be wed in a beautiful mountaintop ceremony. I nearly wept tears of joy, even after the best man called the groom a “Smacktard.” But then during the ceremony somebody found out that in real life, I was a MAN. I mean, sure, say whatever you want about ME, but don’t hold that against Gloria! She’s a saint! Just look at her alignment!

Well, by now everyone’s heard about the burning and the looting that happened when the online wedding went south. Oh, how I sobbed into my pillow! Uh ... I mean, Gloria. GLORIA was sobbing into her pillow, being an emotional chick like that.

To add insult to injury, two days later I found her wedding ring up for sale on eBay! It was unmistakably the one from the wedding, being sold online. I bid a whopping $200 bucks on it, which was crazy ‘cuz it was just a common +5 ring of defense. But some other fool bought it for twice that much! What was he? An Idiot? Didn’t he know the ring was worthless but for sentimental value?

So I emailed him and asked what it would take for him to give me the ring. “Oh, I wouldn’t part with this for less than $1000,” he typed back. “The guy from eBay told me that this ring once belonged to Nicole Kidman. I have a handwritten note to prove it.”

WHAT!? He’d been duped into believing that ring belonged to a movie star? I hate people who misrepresent themselves over the net, and so does Lady Gloria, with her long soft silky red hair.

But I MUST get that ring back! Without it I’ll never stop crying myself to sleep at night! I mean ... Gloria ... Gloria will never ... C’mon man, it’s ROLEplaying. It’s cool.

Victim Pic Small

But how ... how can I turn $200 bucks into $1000? I'm just a college student. I've a feeling the plot is about to thicken.

Score: 8.4; Total Votes: 1909 as of 2009-12-09.

Are you trying to tell me that these leather gauntlets did not actually belong to Clint Eastwood?

At long last I can finally live the dream and play Battlefield: 1942 for a living.

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