Sweet holyness no! Several weeks ago, I was estactic when the company changed the downstairs womens' bathroom into a mens' room, thanks to our lopsided industry and poor hiring standards. But just because we've evened the ratio of male to female employees, that doesn't mean you can go and just change it back! Have you been in there recently? The broken beer bottles neccessitate protective footwear!

And where are they gonna sit? I've had the womens' toilet seat hanging over my cubicle as a trophy for the last six weeks! Last last Wednesday somebody, I think it was Crenshaw, wrote "THE BUTT STOPS HERE" on it in permanent marker. I would put it back, but when I broke it off I think I snapped the bolts.

And speaking of toilets, the one stall has the plunger permanently lodged into the toilet drain. The handle is sticking straight up. I mean, us guys saw it as a target, but oh man, for the gentler sex that's what you might call an occupational safety hazard!

Speaking of hazards, what about that, uh, little metal feminine box by the toilet? Bill's been using it as a spitoon. Three times now I kicked it over, soaking the place, which is why the second stall is walled off by caution tape and why I taped the trigger to the air freshener aerosol dispenser down.

And you remember that nice potted plant? Right, I haven't seen it lately, either. But I suspect that's why the sink we've been using as a urinal has been clogged for over a month!

But mostly, I mean, c'mon man. Don't take that bathroom away from us -- it's the nicest one we have!