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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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5/31/2001
GENTLEMEN, THIS NEW 'X-TREME' GAME CONCEPT WILL LEAVE YOU PIDDLING YOUR BOXERS WITH JOY.


I ask you, what's the biggest fad among today's youth? What does the coveted Generation ... uh ... what are we on? Is it Generation G or H? Uh, anyways, what is it that our most coveted demographic is into? What are they dedicating whole toy store aisles for? I'll give you a hint: Not Pokemon anymore! No sirs, I'm talking about VERY TINY SKATEBOARDS AND BMX BICYCLES.

Now, listen up, I know a guy who knows this dude who has a friend who knows a guy who works for Tech Deck, the leading finger-skateboard manufacturer worldwide. Not only do they have the market penetration, they got Tony Hawk. We already know that Tony Hawk is big in gaming. Can you see the connection here? Can you smell what the Jay P. Faddington is cookin'? I'm seeing a line of licensed Tech Deck X-treme fingerboarding video games across all the major platforms! I'm seeing worldwide media blitz blowout! I'm talking about the cast of Good Morning America limbering up their fingers for a live fingers-on demonstration with a videogame tie-in before millions of credit-card-wielding television viewers!

Kids everywhere will be taking their fingerboarding hobby to the X-TREME on their home entertainment consoles! They'll be able to pull off fingertricks on television using their controllers and hand-eye coordination that they could never do in real life with their real fingers and hand-eye coordination! We could even sell special controllers, ones that have little tiny skateboards attached.

I'm telling you, you run with my idea and by this time next year we won't be able to see one another for the MOUNDS AND MOUNDS OF MONEY that will be piled up on this conference table obscuring all from view. We could take turns slathering ourselves in yogurt and just rolling in it. I get dibs.

 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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