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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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6/4/2003
GUYS, GUYS -- THE PROBLEM HERE, AS I SEE IT, IS THAT OUR ENTIRE TEAM IS A BUNCH OF SUPPORT SLACKERS.


Last week when I talked about how I invented Support Slacking in PlanetSide, I thought I had pretty much perfected it. In fact, I had 12 battle ranks and a tank. I had settled comfortably into the role of "Heavy Support Slacker."

But then I got hooked up with you guys as a squad, and you make me look like frickin' GI-Joe. Look at you! What are you doing? This one guy here grabbed that Basilisk and for the last ten minutes he's been hiding it in a shrubbery.

It took us two and a half hours to get to an enemy-held base, because we were all just ambling about trying to follow at a safe distance behind one another.

Now, here we are, we're actually AT an enemy installation, and not ONE of us is making a move toward it. We're all hovering at about the distance we need to be to get experience points should the base fall. Needless to say, not one of us has fired a shot. I don't think the enemy even knows we're here.

Come to think of it, I don't think the enemy is even there. Have you seen anyone? Heard a peep? Seen even a hint of a helmet? Me neither. Gentlemen ... I think that this enemy base is abandoned.

Oh, HELL no. I'm not going in. There might be a guy in there. And even if there wasn't, I'd have to put down my drink. No sir, I'm just commenting on the situation. You know. In case any of you slackers wanted to take action.

 

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