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10/7/2002
WHHOOOOOAA, HONEY, WE GOTTA BUY THIS VACUUM CLEANER, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING THE PROTOSS WOULD USE.
Whoa whoa WAIT a sec! Look at this one over here -- the Panasonic MC-V7521 Dual-Sweep Upright Vacuum! Whooa, honey this is UNREAL. It's all black and spacey-lookin'. Look at the tubes coming up from it. It looks like the flight helmet of a Stormtrooper pilot -- no, no wait! It looks like something the Protoss would use in StarCraft. Oh yes, yes it does.
Look at the little tag! It's got dual agitators and a double suction path. And a six stage HEPA filtration pass! What do those other vacuums have? Maybe three passes? Four? Sweet mercy, this has 12 amps of power. But, most importantly, it's the Vacuum that the Protoss would use. Here, lemme take it off the shelf -- watch this:
"I clean for Aiur!"
See what I mean? "Yeah, hey Mr. Sales Clerk? This is the one, man, we're taking it!"
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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