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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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2/16/2003
EA TECHNICAL SUPPORT WAS NOT AMUSED BY YOUR SEMI-PORNOGRAPHIC SIMCITY TOWN NAMES.


Last week I complained about your obscene SimCity town names, such as the busy residential town of “a sex orgy” and the bustling metropolis that is “My Anus.” But now things have gone too far.

I was trying to get help on the SimCity technical support forum with city connections on our regional map, but they threatened to delete my forum account. “What are you talking about!?” I said in an angry email. “All I did was post pictures of my anus to your forums!”

But my anus wasn’t the only source of difficulty. I was also having problems getting power to “your ballsack,” to uplift its sagging economy. “Look,” I argued on the forum. “Let’s just lay off my anus for a second. I posted those pictures of a sex orgy so we can have a candid discussion about problems I’m having with your ballsack.”

That got me banned completely.

Now, my cities are all in shambles and I can’t get ANY technical support. I got crime up the wazoo in my anus, a sex orgy that’s going nowhere, and your ballsack is a complete wreck. Next time, I’m naming the towns, dig?



 

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