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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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4/10/2001
I SIMPLY REFUSE TO PLAY ANY GAME THAT CANNOT CORRECTLY CALCULATE THE MUZZLE VELOCITY OF A GERMAN PANZER IV'S 75MM MAIN GUN.


What do you mean "I should give the expansion pack a chance?" Hell no, this is one sequel I'll pass on. Believe me, I played the original Panzer Attack Gold Special Forces Edition. I jumped right into the campaign mode, and by the 700th turn in the El Agheila theatre, I started noticing all kinds of glitches and flaws.

For example, one time a British ranger threw a fragmentation grenade at my StuG III from a range of two meters. It registered as a hit on the front armor, and of course the StuG's 50mm of hull armor was more than enough to protect the tank. BUT, the front hull of a StuG III slants at a 69-degree angle, which would've been more than enough to reflect at least 25% of the shrapnel back at the thrower's unit immediately in front of the tank. I moused over them and not a single troop registered so much as a hit. That's ridiculous. That's not REAL war. I might as well be playing an arcade game.

Later, during the Operation Market Garden campaign, a direct hit on an allied pillbox with my Panzer IV's 75MM main gun was unable to penetrate a 20mm thick steel wall at a distance of roughly 200 meters. I mean, COME ON! Who does the physics for these things, some gradeschooler? It's packing a 75mm PaK42 L/70 for the love of God! How can you even call that a "game?"

I think I'll leave the sequel on the shelf, right next to the ridiculous Wings of Warfare 3: Pacific Theatre expansion -- the one with the laughable Messerschmitt ME-410 turning radius.

[Victim idea Submitted by GameSpy reader Pred242]

 

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