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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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5/15/2002
STEP ASIDE! THIS STAR WARS LINE IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.


Okay, I need you to back off! You, back off! Was I looking at you? Was I talking to you? I believe I was addressing Yoda here. Step off. You? Move that tent up off the sidewalk.

Right, this line for Star Wars Episode II is getting out of hand. So unless any of you punks want to lose your space we're gonna all settle our asses down, capice? You, you gotta put that light saber down. No, I don't want to see any of that -- Put it back in your pants, Darth.

Step over, step over. I'm headed to the front of the line. Hey, guy with the Jar Jar mask. A Jar Jar mask? Do you understand the kind of asspounding that would get you in prison? Take a hike. No, I mean it, take a hike before I start reading rights.

Oh, and you? You? Why you looking at me? Is your name Elian? Then get the hell out my way.

The Irvine Police department has ordered me to take up position here at the front of the line to keep this situation under control. This is one of the few digital movie theaters in the country, so it's important that I maintain some order right here at the head of the line. Listen up, womprats! I want the dark side over here, I want the light side over there. Hey, you Bobas in the back, knock off the horseplay.

What? Oh, Mr. Jar Jar head wants to see a badge, does he? Meesa don't needsa showsa badga, Jarpunk. Ow, hey! Cut it out. You AND the Bobas need to step off, a'ight? Okay, so fine, I'm not a cop. None of YOU loser geeks were this clever -- OW! Put me down! No -- not the fountain! Not the fountain! This outfit is rented!

 

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