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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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1/11/2001
C'MON HONEY, HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO HEAR IF SOMEONE IS SNEAKING INTO THE FLAG ROOM?


Now we're ... ungh ... gonna need to move the China Cabinet into the garage I think but -- Mmph! Could you give me a hand with this? Whew!

What are you talking about? This is absolutely neccessary. Whenever I defend the base, it's important that I can hear even the slightest muffled footstep coming through the rear entrance so I can turn around and rip off a rocket -- otherwise, I'm less of a man.

Also, when I blow up some chump with a grenade? There's really nothing in it for me unless photos are flung from the wall like an air raid. I want to be lifted off of my chair. I want to dislodge ceiling tile. I want to make sure I never need to clean the gutters ever again.

I want the damn Wilson family down the road to hear it everytime I get an ICQ. Otherwise, they might not know how popular I am. Ideally, their windows will crack with the low rumbling roar of an incoming file transfer -- that was, you know, my New Year's resolution.

Later tonight I hired some movers to help me lift the subwoofer out from the back of the pickup truck.

 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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