






The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
|
|
|
More Victims <-[Previous] [Next]->
12/11/2002
FOR OUR FISCAL YEAR 2003 PLANNING MEETING, I’D LIKE TO SUGGEST WE EMPLOY A MEDIEVAL: TOTAL WAR BUSINESS STRATEGY.
Gentlemen, gentlemen. We’ve been cooped up in this room for nearly ten hours now. I agree that we’ve got to take aggressive steps to succeed in this business, but the feeling I’m getting from all of you is a lack of commitment. No, I mean, TOTAL commitment.
A business model I’d like to propose instead is based off of my experiences with Medieval: Total War. First, we begin aggressively hiring temp workers, hereinafter referred to as “peasants.” Then we get some high-priced consultants, the guys who show up on weekends in Oxford shirts. From here on out we’ll refer to them as “Mercenary Armored Cavalry.”
Anyways, I’d like to suggest in quarter 2 of next year that we send in our biz guys to buy out our competitor’s media purchasing division. This is known as “Bribing their weak army with the Diplomat.” Then, we send our army of peasants into their media purchasing division, fire everyone, and then we burn everything in sight and sell all of their expensive ergonomic chairs for a profit. Afterwards we sell off that whole company. I call this the “raping and pillaging” part of the plan.
Once they’re preoccupied with re-conquering their media services division, during Q3 we assault their corporate headquarters with archers and trebuchets...
No no, actual Trebuchets. I’m not using analogies anymore.
Rank this Victim!
[At the end of the week, highest ranked victims will live on in the ongoing weekly features...]
More Victims:
 
Just What is the Daily Victim?
The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
GameSpy Comics
|
|
|
|