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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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7/5/2001
STELLA, NO! YOU PUSH DOWN TO CROUCH, THEN PRESS HIGH-PUNCH TO UPPERCUT!


Stella, you never listen when I tell you how to play the fighting games, you never listen. I tell you you should punch, you go and make with the kicking. He's down on the ground blocking Stella, what with the kicking? What is that? What are you trying to do? You trying to give me a heart attack Stella?

Now, he's going to try to pin you in the corner Stel, hit him with the back-forward punch. You press back then forward, it's big Stella, it's huge. It's a big punch. Oy, fine, you don't wanna do a big punch? Is that what you're saying? Look, look at me, you think I got here by kicking all day NO! I was a puncher, oh and back in the day, I was a MEAN one with the double-tapping forward and hitting the punch button, they never saw it coming. But you? You might as well send him a telegram, hello! I'm Stlla STOP gonna try to kick low again STOP block low then throw me into the corner again STOP! Oy vey.

Don't give me that look, watch the game, watch the game. Here he comes again, make with the blocking and how! OYoyoy, he's OY Stella, he just tore you down like the old Freemont building. Why with the not blocking, why Stella? I says "hit the block button" but you haven't blocked since LBJ was in the white house. Hello, why are you putting the controller down? You was doin' fine. Oh no, I don't wanna play, I don't get into these games.

 

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