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10/6/2003
WHAT KIND OF ROLEPLAYING GAME IS IT? DOES IT HAVE TOWNS? AFTER PLAYING HUNDREDS OF RPGS IN MY LIFETIME, I'VE DEVELOPED A FEAR OF TOWNS.
No, they're not scary places. I mean, they're just dull. Here's the blacksmith. And here's the inn. Oh look, this barn is infested with rats. Mnnn, the funny old man in the tower makes potions for you.
No, I don't want to buy some ale and hear some rumors. I've heard them before. All of them. Goblins in the forest outside of town? Spiders in the forest outside of town? Bandits in the forest outside of town?
Can I ask you a question: Why'd you build a town in the middle of such a dangerous forest?
I've learned a kind of hardcore townclearing strategy, where I book through there, buy a longsword and some leather armor by talking to as few people as possible, and then just head into the woods as quickly as I can run. Or I jump into the nearest sewer grate to bash on some rats. If I'm not careful, someone runs up to me and wants their daughter rescued, their lost dog found, or some sort of package delivered.
Ah, so you've got a new RPG, hunh? Does it have a town level? It does? Towns? I don't do towns.
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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