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BIG CHANGES IN THE WORKS
Thanks again to everyone who submitted your work as part of the Daily Victim Artist Search! A redesign is underway and cool things are happening. Thanks for your patience...
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6/5/2003
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! AS ULTIMA ONLINE GRIEFERS, A NEW GOLDEN AGE IS NOW UPON US.
I'm talking about this new Age of Shadows expansion pack for Ultima Online. One of the things it adds is the ability to dismount opponents. I didn't think it was a big deal, either, until I discovered that you can KILL the horses! Well, this just makes it all the worthwhile.
Wait, shhh! What perfect timing -- here comes some guy on a horse! Look at him, with his horse. And his armor. And a horse. And his title. With a horse. All smug in his rare cloak, with his horse, all up there high and mightly like ... some guy on a horse. I hate him. Actually, I hate everybody: I'm a griefer, like you.
So, here, take my lance. Now, the idea is, you knock him off ... then you kill his horse and run for it. It's a real pisser. I can't wait to see how angry he gets. I do it all the time. I've killed as many as 70 horses in one hour -- five from the same guy! -- that's over a horse a minute. I'm like a walking glue factory. Okay! He's here! Now, block the road...
That's it, now, POKE! Good, he's off! Get the horse! Kill it! KILL! -- what, dude what are you doing? Don't attack the guy, get his defenseless horse! No, aw, now you've gone and killed the dude. Where's the humiliation? The aggravation? What kind of a weak sauce griefer ARE you? You're not griefy enough for THIS club, mister. Get out.
Okay, everyone? I think I've had enough. The weekly meeting of the Atlantic Shard Griefers Guild is now closed. You can all kill each other and steal each others' stuff now. Ow! Owh, HEY!
[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy Reader Mike the Dismounted.]
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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