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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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7/9/2002
FWWWOOOAAAHH! YOU CAN GET A WICKED BUZZ JUST BY LICKING THE WARCRAFT III BOX!


I am telling you the complete and honest truth! There is something SERIOUSLY funky with the Warcraft III collector's edition box. Here, try some. Give it a good lick. No, don't just touch it with your tongue, you need a full-on french lick action to catch any kinda buzz. No, it's not mine, this is my roommate's copy. What, you think I'd sit around licking my own game boxes? That would just be weird.

Do you feel it? Okay, hang on, wait for it to hit. I dunno man, just some crazy funky ink or some'thun. WHOA, there you go. Nice, hunh? Some kinda crazy orc-buzz! I love it! In fact, here, gimmie the box back. Let's see what slurpin' the systems specs'll do for me.

DAMN that's ... CRAAazzzy! Woo-oo! I see elves. Whoa. Damn. Hey dude, did you ever wonder if there's ... like ... a planet full of Orcs? And they all have Warcraft too, right? But, on their planet, the Orcs won the second game? That's seriously whacked up. That blows my mind. Hand me that bag of potato chips.

Let's get Chunksalot and Dogslobber and the rest of the clan over here. Party with the Warcraft box! Woo woo!


Hey, what did you guys DO to my Warcraft III collector's edition?
When I left the house to go to the movies late this afternoon it was right here on the desk. Now, it's on the coffee table, next to six crumpled bags of chips, two empty containers of squeezie cheese, and a box of doughnuts. Also, that box had been signed by the developers themselves with those special metallic pens, and now ALL the signatures are gone! Furthermore, and perhaps most disturbing, the box is moist to the touch. You know what? I don't want to know. No really. I ... don't want to know.

 

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