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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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12/8/2000
MANY WOULD BE STUNNED OR HORRIFIED BY THE SIGHT OF MY "TRIBES HAND," BUT I'VE STARTED TO GROW QUITE FOND OF IT


Well, I've got a Tribes hand. Tribes Hand, rather, with a captital "H." As far as I know, it's the only one. I've grown sort of fond of it. I don't even let myself wank with it. Because it rules.

History of the Hand: I get a job at this nice little ISP called Laker.net. One prerequisite besides all of that mumbo-jumbo about knowing your stuff was being able to play Tribes. I'm serious. They had Tribes hour; 5-6 was a paid hour of Tribes, every day. Addiction incurs.

I leave the job, I move to college, I still play. I fiend. I see my super elite HUD mod when I'm awake, I see those poor Scouts crumbling from my rail in my sleep. I doodle the Starwolf logo during class.

Well, that was then. And now there's now, where I'm too busy to care (thanks a lot, education), but I've still got the biggest thing to come from Tribesing-- the Hand. That's right, I've got THE HAND. So basically if you look at my right hand, on the part where one would receive a karate chop or some such blow, it's about three times wider than my left. And I'm left handed, so it didn't grow from the lovin'. It's 100% pure Tribes-developed muscle.

And I bet I could crush stuff, too, if I hadn't been trained to exercise complete control through sniping. Oh yeah.

You get the picture. I'd scan it for you if you like, but I'd feel dirty.

 

[Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader: Matthew Tucker. Actually, more than that, most of his email was copied verbatim. This is a true story. I find that horrifying.]

 

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