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3/26/2002
STOP! DON’T MOVE AN INCH! MY SUPER MARIO ADVANCE CARTRIDGE IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN THE SHAG CARPET.
FREEZE! You’ll need to navigate the room along the pathways I’ve marked off with tape -- those areas have been cleared. That Game Boy Advance cartridge could be anywhere, stupid little buggers. I swear they’re as big as a stick of Dentine gum.
Okay, Harvey -- you’re up. On the count of three you’re gonna lift and shake the beanbag. Nora? Aim the Halogen lamp at sector C. Ready team? 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... SHAKE! Oh hell, I think I saw a flash of plastic NOBODY MOVE! Let’s all take it easy now, let’s get down on all fours. Slooowly. Right ... Pete, you remove all the tape, we can’t risk that the cartridge fell into one of the clear zones. Whoa -- Harvey is that your cat? Get him out of here -- what’s he got in his mouth? NO!! Stop him! Seal the hallway! Seal the hallway!
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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