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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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2/13/2001
IF THEY CAN PLOP A ROBOT PROBE ON A HUNK OF ROCK A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM EARTH, WHY CAN'T THEY INVENT A FALLOUT:TACTICS DEMO THAT DOWNLOADS FASTER?


Consider this a public address to those peeps at NASA: That's right, stop playing around with your erotic chunks of stone a few million miles away and pay more attention to the problems here on Earth, specifically, with an FTP mirror somewhere near my house!

You saw the news -- they took a robot probe that was just supposed to take pictures of a rock from orbit and, on a whim, they fired off some retro-thrusters or something and actually landed on it. They landed on it. That's like dropping a videocamera (sans tripod) off of a building and having it send you back video after it lands. Except, imagine that the video camera cost a few hundred million dollars, and the building was 196 million miles tall. Now, imagine for a second that you've been sitting here 40 minutes waiting for a 125 megabyte file to download from a fileserver that can't be more than 25 miles away. I think we can all agree that our priorities are messed up.

That's right NASA: if you wanna gather some useful information from the stars, why not have your zillion dollar satellites beam me back MY FRICKING GAME DEMO? And furthermore, you jackoffs at -- whoa, wait a second, it just finished downloading.

Okay, sorry about that NASA, you, uh, keep on doing that thing with the rocks and the spaceships and stuff. I didn't mean to get so testy.

 

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