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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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7/8/2003
I JUST CAN'T STOP KILLIN' REBEL SCUM!


Hi, my name's Staff Sergeant Butkis, and I just can't stop killing Rebel Scum.

I try! Oh, believe me, I try! I want to work on my scouting skills, so I can built larger campgrounds capable of healing and supporting my fellow imperial units in Star Wars Galaxies. I'd like to run a few animal hunting missions, you know, to get my bank account up so I can buy better weapons.

But no sooner do I walk up to the shuttle stop than I see 'em, my homies from the Empire. All snazzed up in those uniforms. Some of 'em have Stormtroopers following them. And they're like, "Hey hey, my brother, what are you up to?" And I'll mumble sheepishly, "I'm going to go run a few messenger missions..."

And they'll say, "Really? We're going to hunt rebel scum." I'll start shaking! I mean, physically shaking! And I'll reply, "OMG GROUP ME D00D" and then I'm in.

We're all a bunch of rebelscumassassinaholics! I just can't stop killing rebels! I can't do it, man.

[Breaks down sobbing, and then pauses to pull out a blaster and shoot some rebel pilot running to the cantina.]

 

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