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7/6/2003
OH NO SIR! YOU CAN'T BRING THAT INSIDE THIS CANTINA!
Oh no no no, ha ha, that just won't do. See, here at Maurice's Shuttle Stop and Wookie Wash, we've got a very strict policy regarding our clientele bringing their pet insects inside. Specifically insects of that size. Meaning ... "gigantic." Particularly big enough to eat ... me.
No no sir! I don't doubt that this insect is well trained, and I didn't mean to cast doubt with regards to your abilities. Despite being larger than a truck it is enormously well behaved, though I hesitate to mention that there IS a ragged half of a Jawa robe hanging from its slavering maw. Haha, again, I just wanted to gently remind you of our "no enormous insect" policy and ask that you tie it up outside. With a large, HEAVY chain, if possible, thanks.
Well, you understand, I'm one of the first player-built cantinas on this planet. This is a place for characters to relax. To "chill," if you will, what have you. Creating an environment that is both inviting and safe is a large part of this establishment's appeal. Now, if someone were to see your large insect, they may -- presuming they do not first wet themselves -- infer the presence of smaller insects, perhaps in the kitchen. And sir, I'm certain you understand how that would detract from what we'll call the "ambiance." Hm?
No, You're keeping the bug? Yes yes, very well. You leave me no choice but to /tell the Wookies. Gentlemen? Please escort the animal trainer here out back and kick him in the nuts until his nose bleeds. Thank you!
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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