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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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3/19/2001
I HAD A VERY HARROWING ATARI PITFALL EXPERIENCE AS A SMALL CHILD.


No. No, I can't. No, I won't swing across on the rope. Right, I know it's a company "Bonding" exercise, and that we were all given the day off of work together to attend this "Teambuilding Seminar" here at "Camp Snoopy Valley," but frankly I don't feel that my specific job in the printing department requires any bonding. Particularly bonding with you, Chuck, you sit in the cubicle across from mine, and pick your nose. I've seen it.

So, I'm going to respectfully pass on the swinging rope. No, it's very scary. See, I'm allergic to ropes, ones that swing? Very dangerous.

Actually, okay, I'll spill my guts, just like you encouraged us to at the "pep rally" this morning ouside our "bungalows." You see, when I was a very small child, I had this terrible experience with Atari Pitfall. That's all I'll say. There was that pit, and the water, and the alligators, and the vine, and that crappy flattened red button on the joystick that my brother had mashed beyond hope playing Space Invaders, and everything went .... oh, it was -- oh and the -- ohh -- *shallow sobs*

Hold me, Chuck.

 

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