Visit GameSpy.com!

View The Latest Victim
Hall of Previous Victims
Most Popular Victims EVER
Who Makes Up This Stuff?
How Does The Daily Victim Work?
Send Us Your Daily Victim Ideas!

The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
BIG CHANGES IN THE WORKS

Thanks again to everyone who submitted your work as part of the Daily Victim Artist Search! A redesign is underway and cool things are happening. Thanks for your patience...

More Victims
<-[Previous] [Next]->

9/3/2002
MY 'PLATFORMS FLOATING IN SPACE' SKILLS ARE HONED TO PERFECTION, SIR.


So, you ask me, what could I do for your company? Sure, I'm a recent college grad and yes, my resume is awfully light and sure, my grade-point-average wasn't great and OKAY, so maybe there was that felony conviction. But I think I'd be a real asset in this entry level position.

Why? Because, thanks to Super Mario Sunshine, I've honed my platform-jumping skills to perfection. I'm a razor-sharp platforming savant.

Hang on, don't reach for your phone just yet. This isn't an idle boast. I can jump on moving platforms or stationary platforms. I can jump on rotating platforms. I can jump on spinning platforms, the kind that dump you off if you're not careful. Sir, if it's floating above a void, I can find a way to jump on it and -- moreover, what should really appeal to your team -- I can find a way to jump off of it and land precisely on another similarly precarious platform.

This is no one-shot deal, either. No, I can jump from platform to platform hovering mysteriously over a great void for hours on end. I'm willing to do that for your team.

I'm also really good at watering plants.

 

Rank this Victim!
Not Funny Keeper

[At the end of the week, highest ranked victims
will live on in the ongoing weekly features...]

More Victims:

   

Just What is the Daily Victim?

The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
GameSpy Comics