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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
A FAREWELL MESSAGE FROM FARGO

The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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11/21/2002
I JUST GOT ONE OF THOSE NEW CELL-PHONE PDA DEALIES. THAT’S THE KIND OF THING YOU SPEND MONEY ON WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE A GIRL.


Yah, check this thing out. Full color screen, Palm OS organizer, built-in PCS cellular phone, even a little keyboard. This thing has it all. I’d never be able to score one of these if I was seeing anybody.

I’ve got everything on here. See, I press here to bring up my personal phone and contact list. This is where I would list all the hot girls I’m seeing or all of the guys I party with on weekends. Of course, there aren’t any phone numbers there except you and my parents. If there were, I couldn’t have afforded this thing.

Here’s my email. That’s right, there’s a little keyboard. How cool is that? It’s pretty cool, just short of actual human companionship. But let’s be reasonable: if I were seeing anyone, would I have actually have shelled out half a grand for this thing? Nope.

95% of my airtime is spent downloading dirty pictures while I’m in public bathroom stalls.

Anyways, I’ve got a little program on here that plays chess with me. What else was I gonna do on Fridays, you know? That’s awesome. And here’s my day planner, so I can list off all my dates. Haha! That’s a joke, of course.

 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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