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Top 10 Daily Victims
They came, they saw, they victimized.
By - Dave "Fargo" Kosak

And the number one Victim of all time is....

1. Creeping Horror at Palace Park Amusements


Certainly the best Daily Victim to date, this is also one of the best pieces of fiction I've ever written. read this one in a darkened room, friends! It's not really the humor so much as the horror that marks this one, which was good enough to be linked to from several big news sites. After this victim scored a whopping 9.23 in the voting, the ranks for the rest of the victims were never the same. People started getting REALLY stingy with the "10" votes because every other victim was compared to this guy, and I started to see a lot more "8s" and "9s."

Believe it or not, this Victim is almost based on a true story. GameSpy came across an old Pole Position II arcade machine once and snapped it up, so it sits in our lobby. I was among the best players in the office (nobody could bust on the Suzuka track like ME.) One night I was working late -- alone in the office -- when I heard a screeching noise coming from the machine. I padded softly over to it and saw it displaying garbledegook and making weird noises. Let's be frank: It scared the crap out of me. But I went back to my desk and emailed a rough outline of this story to Gabriel so he could illustrate it right away. It's really the masterpiece of the Daily Victim series; I'm glad readers like you liked it as much as I did.

I decided not to make a color version of this guy, breaking the rules. What's funny is, a lot of people at GameSpy and several readers wrote in to say "Leave this one alone!" It was so good as it was, a sequel would just sorta take away from the original. I totally agree. Someday, he might come back ... we'll just have to see, won't we?

Trivia: There really is a Palace Park Amusements in Irvine, California. It's appeared in several victims so far and remains one of the only video arcades I still visit with any regularity.

UPDATE! Yeah, a few days after I finished writing this, the Grand Turismo Grand Finale victim entered into the top ten! Sitting for two days at number one it's edged its way down to the number 2 slot. Ruining my whole top 10 list! Oh well.

My Personal Favorites

I couldn't resist the opportunity to list my personal favorites here. Sometimes I write up a victim and I think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread -- when I come in the next morning I find that my readers torched the poor guy. (Of course, the reverse is when I write something I don't really like but it turns out to strike a chord.) So here's a few of my favs that you won't find on the top 20:
  • The Coin Operated Servers: Another great Crenshaw cameo! Start with the premise of coin-operated web servers and take it to a ridiculous extreme. I wish this one could've been an animated cartoon.
  • "Only the Innocents Remain!": Mostly it's just the headline of this victim that cracks me up.
  • Becoming Young Again: This is the most surreal victim ever. A whacked story about two guys desperate to get their Atari 2600 working. This one's better if you went to gradeschool in the 80s.
  • Eating a Hot Dog During the Loading Screen: This one just builds and builds and builds until the climax is way better than the setup would lead you to believe. Still a personal favorite.
  • The Guy Who Can't Quite Trash Talk: This dude is hysterical. It's like he wants to lay down the SmaQ, but can't quite ... do it right.
  • Pimp Game Developer Speaks Out: I thought this was a masterpiece of a story with a really cool ending. But maybe most people couldn't get past the way the main character talked. I thought it was one of the best Victims ever, probably in my personal top ten.
  • The Guy and the Koala: I think this one's a riot. It's one of the very first. I think it's mostly the look on the guy's face ... and the way the copy reads, how he's so CLEARLY pissed but he's restraining himself and trying to be civil. Yet the animosity creeps out between the lines. Man, this one's great. I had high hopes for him.


That should do 'er. As always, check out The Daily Victim every day! This week happens to be Gran Turismo 3 week. If you like the feature, support it by snagging a Tee-shirt. Every so often a new one will be available, and the old designs will never be sold ever again. Enjoy!


[GameSpy Top Tens are posted every Monday. Like clockwork. Want more goodness? Read the Archives! Have an idea for a Top Ten topic? Mail us! We'd love to hear what your favorite victims are. Alternatively, you can go with the flow and inadvertently send us an email virus instead. Grr.]

Next: The Top 10 Archives

   


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