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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
A FAREWELL MESSAGE FROM FARGO

The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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3/26/2003
THANK YOU, LEGEND OF ZELDA! I FINALLY HAVE A VEHICLE TO VENT MY RAGE AGAINST ... PLANTS!


Oh THANK you, Legend of Zelda! Before the newest Zelda game, my seething hatred for greenery had no outlet. My pent-up rage against small, leafy green shrubs and bushes simply festered, my lust for flora mutilation unrequited.

But look at me now! I’m a lean, green, lawn-mowing machine! I’m like John Deere with a sword. My prepubescent ages of torment are over -- now I’m a MAN. Even salad bars quake in fear before me.

The world is a better place now that small children are being trained to grab sharp objects, step outside their house, and destroy every sign of flora on God’s green earth, leaving nothing at their backs but stumps and dirt.

HALLELUJAH!!





 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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