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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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10/18/2002
IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN SPACE TRAVEL WAS SO EASY BEFORE I BOUGHT MY FERRARI


I wish I had done a little more reading before I bought my new jet-black Ferrari 456M GT with the v12 engine. Sure, my new car accelerates like a fighter jet and drives at skin-melting speeds in unparalleled comfort, but it can’t go into space.

What brought this up? Well, none other than computer game designer John Carmack. In this CNN article about space travel, Carmack tells us: "I thought to myself, you know, for less money that I spend on Ferraris the past decade, I think I can make my own spaceship."

DAMMIT! If only I had known that before I bought my Ferrari, I could be knocking on the window of the international space station and asking if they had any Grey Poupon by now. I could be an interstellar cosmonaut, surfing the spacewaves with one foot on the gas and another in the future.

But instead, all I have is a lousy Italian sports car with two half-naked women making out in the passenger seat.

 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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