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BIG CHANGES IN THE WORKS
Thanks again to everyone who submitted your work as part of the Daily Victim Artist Search! A redesign is underway and cool things are happening. Thanks for your patience...
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10/2/2003
IF YOU YELL "SNIPER" INTO MY EAR ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR LIPS OFF.
Charlie, Charlie, okay, let's take a moment here between rounds, right? We're at a LAN party. Space is tight. We gotta sit next to each other. That's okay, 'cuz, we're on the same team. But, the screaming, it's gotta stop.
This is COUNTER-STRIKE. Of COURSE there are going to be snipers! There's ALWAYS a sniper! It's a game of CAMPING and SNIPING.
For God's sake, every time the round starts, you hear a gunshot and yell "SNIPER!" so loud I end up spazzing and shooting off my AK like a firehose. I've already killed six teammates. In fact, you know what would be helpful? Maybe you could shout out if there WASN'T a sniper on the level. That would be a friggin' miracle. I'd probably have a heart attack and die. You would be like, "No Sniper!" and then I'd FREAK. I'd flip out. I'd put a bullet in my own head to end the tension.
But if you decide to scream "Sniper" at the top of your lungs into my ear one more time, WHAMMO. They're gonna call you "Lipless Charlie." You're just gonna have a hole in your face mumbling, "I maw a miper," and I'm not gonna have any pity on you. You know what I'm gonna have? Your lips for breakfast. A delicious nutritious lipfast.
I'm serious, Charlie. About the lips.
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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