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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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6/11/2001
SORRY GUYS, I CAN'T PLAY IN OUR TRIBES MATCH TONIGHT. I'M TEMPORARILY UNABLE TO USE THE MOUSE AND KEYBOARD AT THE SAME TIME.


No no, my arm isn't broken or anything, I just ... Yeah, I won't be able to play. Actually, I can play, but I won't be able to move around 'cuz I can't use both mouse and keyboard simultaneously at the moment. I'll just have to stand there and use mouselook, like a human turret. Maybe you guys could push me into battle?

Aw c'mon, don't make me go into details. I don't really want to talk about it. No no, no details. C'mon, cut me some slack. Well, okay, you know how sometimes you wake up in an unfamiliar hotel room wearing clothes that aren't yours with a leopard-print bra wrapped around your head? Right, and you have to dismantle the headboard 'cuz you're handcuffed to it? Pretty soon after you make it out the window you find yourself running home through a cornfield ducking low because you're not sure those police choppers overhead are looking for you or for the guys chasing you screaming in Italian? Cool, yah, you know what I'm talking about. Crazy weekend.

Crap, there's a knock at my door. I'll catch you guys later, I'm gonna hide in my stove.

 

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