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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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10/30/2000
THE ZOMBIES CANNOT POSSIBLY KILL ME WHEN I'M THIS WIRED ON JOLT COLA


Haha. That should do it! I was a little worried after my WAIT HANG ON WHILE I CONVULSE that I was playing Resident Evil Code Veronica all night COME TO ME SUNSHINE PLEASE all night long was getting me a little TWITCHING freaked out TWICHING MORE because it's this game filled with zombies and zombies and dead people and zombies that try to kill me with the hurting BUT I AM IMMUNE WITH THE SHUDDERING SHUDDER SHAKE JOLT ME! Jolt Cola, I've drunk over four six size packs, that's a total of something like EYEBALLS SO ITCHY 17 cans of MY HANDS ARE MOVING OF THEIR OWN VOLITION unable to concentrate but I really want to solve the game before they come and rip away my flesh through the windows and WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS JUMPING AT ME! GET BACK! GET THE BATS AWAY! you can't see them but I can fortunately they can't sneak up on me WHERE!? WHERE! with the SHUDDERING WHITE FOAM EMINIATING HELPLESSLY MOUTH GET ME AN IV and I think I'm near the end of the game because more things are jumping at me so I'm gonna WIN.

 

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