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10/11/2002
LAUGH ALL YOU WANT, THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN PLAY NEED FOR SPEED WITHOUT GETTING MAD VERTIGO
Just shut up and hand me the controller, man. Okay, which player am I? Am I the guy on top? No, the OTHER top. Right. Okay, let’s do it.
Lay off, man! It’s the only way I can play this game without getting woozy. Maybe it’s cuz all the blood is rushing to my head. WHOA, did you see me take that corner at 90? I am a MACHINE.
Hand me the chips and dip. Whoa, I uh -- sorry about the carpet. [Crunch crunch] Damn it’s hard to swallow like this. Reach over and get me that glass of water. Oh ... aw crap, okay, get me some paper towels.
Fine, I’ll get them myself -- OOHHWHWHww, my BACK! I think I heard a disc pop or something. Oh man, I think I’m stuck. No, stuck. Stuck like THIS, dipnuts. Oh ... oh geez. Okay. Tell you what. Just ... roll me down onto the floor... okay, now prop my legs up on the stool. There. There we go.
Okay, NOW hand me the controller. Can one of you guys just pour soda into my mouth? Thanks.
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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