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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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5/2/2001
EXCUSE ME, SIR, YOU FAILED TO SIGNAL BEFORE CRASHING THAT BOMBER INTO A MOUNTAIN.


Hey, I'd shaddup if I knew what was good for you, punk. I watched the whole thing from our base's generator tower. You were weaving like it was basket-day in Home-Ec up there. And where's your bombardier, mister? I'll tell you where he is, he's on the other side of this hillock puking his guts out after you dusted the bridge UPSIDE DOWN.

And what's this I see in the rubble? Would you care to explain that sir? A half-empty can of Ginger Ale? I can't believe the audacity of you young punk kids going joyriding in multi-million dollar Tribes 2 bombers while hopped up on non-caffeinated sodas. Don't you know that those slow your reaction time and make you a poor driver?

You're what we on the force call an LBP. Lower Body Part. In layman's terms, YOU'RE AN ASS. Here's your ticket, and here's some extra ammo for a spinfusor. You'll need it to get back to your base on foot.

And don't come back until you've done the Dew!

 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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