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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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8/4/2001
SON, ADULTS LEARN TO SHARE THE HAVOC HEAVY TRANSPORT


Come sit on my knee, son. remember the talk we had a couple weeks ago? I think it's time for another.

See son, when adults get in to drive a Havoc Heavy transport to the enemy base, they know to slow down and wait until other people get on. They share. Adults love to share. Sharing is good.

Adults also talk to each other. They ask one another to repair each others' generators. They say "please" and "thank you." Occasionally they also scream, "I got your number! I got all your numbers!" but daddy says that's not nice. No, son, us grownups talk to one another before we shoot people with spinfusors.

I know it's hard out there in the real world, son. Kids like to pick on other kids who have the flag. They're mean that way. But it's no different for adults. Frankly son -- and don't tell mom I said this -- if someone were to take my flag? I'd put a boot so high up their ass they'd be coughing shoe leather. Don't repeat that.

But what I'm saying son, is don't let those kids get to you. They're just jealous because you have the flag, and jealous kids do mean things with grenade launchers. Got all that? 'Attaboy! Go to it, son!

 

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