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4/25/2003
DUDE, I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THIS GIRL, BUT WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT ISN’T MERELY WINNING AN ARCADE GAME -- IT’S SUICIDE!
[Part IV of Dance Dance Story. Read part I!]
Julio, Julio -- I know you met the girl of your dreams in the food court and then pledged your love, but what you’re talking about is crazy. It’s suicide. It’s ... Dance Dance Immolation!!
Face it, brother. She turns with Team ShakaBooty. You dance for Team ManyMojo. We come from different arcades. You can’t date people from the other team! That’s crazy talk. This whole mall would fall apart into anarchy, just like that time last year after State of Emergency came out.
No no, I understand the plan. I’m telling you: it’s a crazy plan. I agree that if you can prove that YOU are the greatest Dance Dance Revolution player on the PLANET, you’d be so Godlike that neither Team would want to say anything about you dating Violet. But you’re talking about executing the most difficult Dance Dance move ever theorized -- this very weekend -- in tournament play, no less!
The Challenge X-Meistro Double Drop Rebound Flip off the back bar!
No way, NO WAY, it can’t be done! It’s the only Dance Dance Revolution move that requires a running start. It was first theorized back when DDR Mix 4 came out, but it’s never successfully been performed except under optimal laboratory conditions using a Chinese gymnast in a zero-g freefall chamber.
Don’t you remember? Back in ‘02? Gary Reese tried to do the Challenge X-Meistro Double Drop Rebound Flip during the Fall dance-off.
We had to bury him in a Y-shaped coffin!
Yeah, it’ll impress your new girl. Sure, you’d earn the awe and respect of both teams. Hell, this mall would never be the same. Except it can’t possibly work! IT’S SUICIDE! Don’t do it man, no chick is worth it! Not even -- whoa, is that her, over there? Damn man. After you die, maybe I can ‘console’ her.
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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