WELL, I UNDERSTAND THERE'S NO CATEGORY FOR IT, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THIS PIG DESERVES SOME SORT OF PRIZE.

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Well, yessir! I call her ... "Quakin' Bacon." I ain't seen nothin' like 'er exceptin' the time ol' Al Knauff up from Scott Ridge brought in that heffer with the Half-Life lambda on 'er.