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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
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The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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5/28/2003
WE'VE GOT A LOCK ON "THE ONE." HE'S RUNNING THROUGH THE POST OFFICE LEVEL BANGING ON THE "X" BUTTON REPEATEDLY.


We have him now. All units, close in. "The One" will not escape the Matrix this time. Yes, we've pinpointed his location. He's in the post office, and he's trying to aim and shoot with the analog sticks on his dual shock controller somewhat comically.

Yes, he's just gone into bullet-time and slaughtered two operatives with a split-kick. No, no I believe it was luck -- now he's just doing the split kick down the corridor, over and over again. He must've just learned how to do it.

He's sipping Kool Aid and showing his moves off to his friend from school. Strike now! He's distracted. He can't figure out how to get past the tear gas. Wait, wait, now his friend says he knows how to get past it. They're fighting over the controller. Kool Aid has been spilled -- The One's mom is gonna be PISSED.

Our work here is done.


 

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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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