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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted; The most beloved victims will return in a full-color feature and ongoing story each week.
 
A FAREWELL MESSAGE FROM FARGO

The Daily Victim will no longer be updated. A big thank you to all of my readers throughout the years! Please enjoy the archives, and be sure to Read a Personal Farewell Message from Fargo!

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12/1/2000
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY, HONEY. I PROMISE NOT TO FALL ASLEEP THIS TIME.


No, I mean it, I promise, even though I've just worked another 12-hour shift at the hospital, that I won't fall asleep this time. I really want to hear about your day. Honestly. I think it's important for us to talk, honey, for our relationship -- no, really. I won't fall asleep this time like I did last night. And last week. And all through October.

Okay, so let's start at the beginning. You say the Foto Hut let you out a whole hour early today? Wow, you must've gotten home by 11:30 AM then. You must've been excited. Baldur's Gate II again, hunh? I would've guessed.

So you skipped lunch AND dinner in order to level up your character? That's great sweetie. Yeah, I missed lunch too, we managed to get a live liver available from a donor and had to rush it to the medical center via helicopter. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You say you made level 15? That's very exciting.

You can cast Cure Critical Wounds now? That's really swell, hon. Today I saved the life of a small child who went into cardiac arrest from smoke inhalation using only my two hands and mouth-to-mouth.

Wow, a +3 sword. Ho boy. Wait til you tell the rest of the guys at Foto Hut. Almost as exciting as last night when you found that ring that allowed you to summon Kithrix the spider into combat for your party. I wish I could've seen it, but we had over 14 burn victims in the unit yesterday from the pile-up on the freeway. Oh I'm sorry, go on. What happened in the Drow Elf cavern?

A flaming staff? Well crap me stupid. That's just great. And here my mother said you'd never make anything of yourself. I can't wait to tell her about the staff. Oh right, and the sword, I forgot about that -- I must've dozed off.

 

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