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BIG CHANGES IN THE WORKS
Thanks again to everyone who submitted your work as part of the Daily Victim Artist Search! A redesign is underway and cool things are happening. Thanks for your patience...
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4/20/2002
IT’S HORRIFYING TIMES LIKE THESE THAT A MAN HAS TO ASK HIMSELF: WHAT WOULD THE ROCK DO?
You might be asking yourself why I’m hiding in this locker. It started this morning when I inadvertently distributed leaflets inviting my high school to the "2002 Senior Pr0n." Never before in the history of the high school endeavor have so many owed so many hard-ons to so small a typo.
Now that the Citizens for Decency committee is picketing the school and Ron Jeremy was just awarded an honorary diploma, things are about to erupt into full-scale rioting. The rest of the crew at the High School Literary Magazine have started calling me "Barely Legal" Ted.
Well, it's times like this that try the teenage soul. Moments like these are when I ask myself: What would The Rock do? I’m serious. Let's think about this. Would I bust out of this locker, throw two knives at once, and simultaneously kill two sword-wielding guys in turbans? Maybe I’d kidnap some half-naked sorceress. Would I step into the ring, arch an eyebrow, and trash talk the Undertaker?
Basically, what I’m saying is, if I were to cook something, what would it smell like?
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The Daily Victim is GameSpy's daily tribute to the millions of fine people who populate Internet culture. Every weekday a new victim is posted. The most beloved victims will return in our full-color feature and continuing story each week.
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