Step aside, step aside. I'm in the middle of my workout.

My undisputed reign as the king of the gankers here at this company is under a withering assault from the likes of Jerry over in tech. Doesn't he know? I AM THE KING OF GANK!

I knew something was up when we got those new computers in the conference room. That evening I pulled up a chair, whipped out my electric screwdriver, and proceeded to "upgrade" my work PC by swapping out my Voodoo 2 card with that phat GeForce 2 from the conference room. And lo! What do I find? Inside the conference room PC I discover a Riva 128 card! Someone had beaten me to the punch. I had been both pre-ganked and out ganked!

Right there and then I declared: this was war. Yesterday morning I hit up the supply cabinet and ganked six boxes of rulers and every red pen we had. By lunch I had myself two new keyboards and a copy of Photoshop.

You know how all the white board markers disappeared? I wish I could say that was me, but no -- that was my nemisis, in a spectacularly high-profile gank. But I will not be outganked! I'm mustering up my strength, friend. I'm going big.

I've already taken all of the toilet paper from the bathrooms and tonight I'm loading the conference room table into my truck.

[Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader: Jon Stapp]