Don't just stand there staring at me like you're lagged. Look around you. Since that colossal server crash and the resulting backup & reboot, this server's been reset to the way it was a year ago.

That means our ridiculous February whirlwind romance and impromptu online wedding is annulled. In fact, it's even better than annulled; it never happened.

I would give you back the ring ... but it hasn't been forged yet.

Things are the way they were when we first met. That is to say, I'm a low-level crafter scraping along trying to make a living in this little shack I call home, and you're a helpless newbie who I was about to attack with a hatchet.

We haven't yet hit it off, we haven't chatted drunkenly until the wee hours, we haven't gradually grown attracted to one another, haven't sent our pictures over the net, haven't gotten engaged, haven't had a big online ceremony, haven't discovered the degree to which acne was photo-edited out of the pictures we sent, haven't had that big fight in June, haven't had those agonizing heart-to-hearts and "relationship discussions" that cut away into time I could've spent getting XP. And frankly, I think we're better off for it.

That reminds me.

[She pulls out a hatchet.]