Behold, the end of the server is nigh! ...Nigh. You know, near. No, that wasn't a typo. Okay, look, just shut up and listen.

This server is going down! Dooooown! It's dooooomed! I overheard two guys talking at the coffee shop yesterday, while I hid behind a newspaper. No, in real life, you moron. They were talking about a complete server failure, this weekend. All life as we know it would suddenly cease to exist, disappearing with a final anguished cry back into the random bits and bytes from whence we came. Where once there was life, there will be only silence.

And then, a couple of minutes later, the server will reboot. And we'll be restored to how we were last Sunday night, from a tape backup.

Don't you GET it, man? We're the walking dead! We're all doomed! That experience you earned Tuesday night? It'll be gone. Along with all the new armor you bought afterwards. This conversation we're having right now? It'll be like it never happened! Erased! Gone! Kaput!

No man, there's nothing you can do about it. That server crash is inevitable, like the Olsen twins appearing in Playboy in 20 years. No, you can't stop it. What should you do?

Repent? Are you kidding me? Repent, nothing! You're living on borrowed time. Embrace hedonism, baby!

That's right! Total chaos, complete carnage, three days of pre-Armageddon orgies of wanton waste and corruption. Dragons in the town square! Nudists rolling in the mithril mines! Pudding for everyone! Orcs and elves, sleeping together!

Go ahead, attack the shopkeepers: your reputation will reset after the crash. Steal stuff from priests. Firebomb the orphanage. Hit on your best friend's mother. Leather, handcuffs. It don't matter! The end is nigh!

...Nigh. You know, nigh. It means near. It's like ... okay, nevermind. I'll just change the sign.