That's right Skip. Open the envelope. It may LOOK like a GameSpy Gift Card, but in fact, it's actually an inexpensive discount gift-certificate for a MANBEATING.

I like you, Skip. You're a good friend. A great suite-mate here in the dorms. Together we've had a lot of fun playing Medal of Honor or Wolfenstien. So, really truly and genuinely, this is a gift from the heart. But don't be misled. It's also an admission pass to the SMACKFARM.

It's a guaranteed BEATDOWN.

Because as soon as I get a hold of you in Call of Duty multiplayer, I'm gonna pulp you like ripe mango.

I'm gonna frost you like a cake. I don't even know what that means.

So, enjoy your gift card, Skip. Go online and activate it today. But remember, it's not only a subscription you can take advantage of. It's also a one-way ticket to a DEBILITATING NUTPUNCH.

Enjoy it, Skip. You've earned it.