Many Would Be Stunned or Horrified by the Sight of My "Tribes Hand," but I've Started to Grow Quite Fond of It

Well, I've got a Tribes hand. Tribes Hand, rather, with a captital "H." As far as I know, it's the only one. I've grown sort of fond of it. I don't even let myself wank with it. Because it rules.

History of the Hand: I get a job at this nice little ISP called One prerequisite besides all of that mumbo-jumbo about knowing your stuff was being able to play Tribes. I'm serious. They had Tribes hour; 5-6 was a paid hour of Tribes, every day. Addiction incurs.

I leave the job, I move to college, I still play. I fiend. I see my super elite HUD mod when I'm awake, I see those poor Scouts crumbling from my rail in my sleep. I doodle the Starwolf logo during class.

Well, that was then. And now there's now, where I'm too busy to care (thanks a lot, education), but I've still got the biggest thing to come from Tribesing-- the Hand. That's right, I've got THE HAND. So basically if you look at my right hand, on the part where one would receive a karate chop or some such blow, it's about three times wider than my left. And I'm left handed, so it didn't grow from the lovin'. It's 100% pure Tribes-developed muscle.

And I bet I could crush stuff, too, if I hadn't been trained to exercise complete control through sniping. Oh yeah.

You get the picture. I'd scan it for you if you like, but I'd feel dirty.


[Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader: Matthew Tucker. Actually, more than that, most of his email was copied verbatim. This is a true story. I find that horrifying.]

Victim Pic Small

I'm looking for ways to use my Tribes Hand to further my career. So far my only lead is as assitant spanker at the bondage restaurant down the street.

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I Can Sum up Your Internet Problems in Three Words My Friend: Girl Scout Modem.

I'm Sorry, Professor, I Can't Attend Your Lectures This Week Due to My Madden 2001 Injury.

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