I mean, look at her! 5'10", long natural red hair, curves on either side of her waist -- you don't stand a chance. She'd con yellow for you.

You know, con. Like in EverQuest or Galaxies, when you use the /consider command, or look at the little icons above people's heads. Yah yah, I know this is real life and all, but that's what I'm saying. If you could con people in real life, she'd have a big ol' yellow icon above her head. It would say "suicidal" in your chat window. That's all I'm saying.

TALK to her? Dude, listen to reason, man! She's not conning white, I can tell you that. Even if you had bothered to shower this morning, she'd still be conning yellow. Why not go over and talk to the chick in the sweatshirt who got hit by the acne stick? She's conning blue. At least to me. In fact, I think I'm going to go for it.

Steve, talk some sense into this guy. His ego is gonna get massacred. We'd have to do a corpse retrieval or something. What's that? Have Steve break the ice? I mean, sure, she'd con white to Steve but he's got a girlfriend already. That's like a class restriction or something.

C'mon, I'm just trying to be realistic here, that's all.

[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Thomas Darlington. He didn't have a game name, so I'm going to make one up for him: "The Duke of Darl." Everyone has to call him that from now on. I'll be watching.]