No, relax, it's just a formality. This is a 64-player server and in the evenings its packed, so before we allow just anyone to camp the airplane spawns for the entire time we like them to submit an application. We want to make sure that you'll mesh well with the rest of us, right? That is to say, the other dozen of us ALSO camping the plane spawn. Hour after hour. Ignoring the rest of our team. Or the mission objectives. Anyways, on to the form!

NAME: ____________________

Translated name for
those of us who 
can't read l33t:
__________________________

Rank (Check one):
  ___ Newb
  ___ Total Newb
  ___ Longtime Newb
  ___ Career Newb

Preferred Class:
  ___ Assault
  ___ Anti-Tank
  ___ What's the one
      with the bazooka?

Which plane do you want to camp?
  ___ Teh fighter
  ___ Teh bomber
  ___ Can't tell difference

Can you actually FLY a plane?
  ___ No
  ___ Oh hell no
  ___ Never been in one

How many ENEMY planes have
you shot down?
  ___ 0   ___ 1   ___ 2

How many friendly planes have
you shot with the bazooka
because you couldn't get in them?
  ___ 1-5  ___ 6-10   ___ All

Have you ever successfully taken
off from an aircraft carrier?
  ___ Yes
  ___ No
  ___ Mostly
  ___ Need clarification on 
      the term "Taken off"

How often do wound or damage 
teammates due to friendly fire?
  ___ Rarely
  ___ 5-10 times per round
  ___ 10-20 times per round
  ___ Most of the round
  ___ For the entire round
  ___ Unable to distinguish 
      them to begin with

Have you ever touched a girl?
  ___ Rarely
  ___ 5-10 times per round
  ___ For the entire round
  ___ Unable to distinguish 
      them to begin with
  ___ Guh- Guuh -- uuhh

And finally, why have you decided
to camp planes with us this 
evening?
  ___ Ran out of detpacks to
      place under friendly tanks
  ___ Need something to not
      pay attention to while
      talking on the phone
  ___ So called "Strategy" or 
      "Tactics" confuse me; much 
      easier to sow discord
  ___ Own motivations perplex
      even myself

Please fill out your answers above, tie the survey to a grenade, and throw it through the window of our headquarters. Thanks!

[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Sam Sutton. Thanks Sam!]