Knights of the Old Republic will leave you howling like a worm! ...if worms could HOWL! It'll hit you like a punch to the gut, a videogame shot to the jimmies that deflates a lung and leaves you sobbing.

Knights of the Old Republic for the Xbox will shatter every bone in your body. Your insides will crack like one of those Halloween glowsticks and green light will shoot out of your mouth after you're shaken. Your last words as you sink jelly-like to the floor will be "THAT GAME ... IS ... SO COOL" before your vocal cords snap like rubber bands and you're reduced to worshipful gurgling.

Knights of the Old Republic will make Halo look like Nerf Lazer Arena. You're going to take out your Halo disk and break it in two and you're gonna beg Knights of the Old Republic to forgive you for ever thinking it was cool, tears flowing down your face before you commit ritual Seppuku faced with the cruel knowledge that you have faced the best game creation can produce and for you life no longer has meaning.

Knights of the Old Republic will SUCK OUT YOUR LIVER and then it will -- what? Oh no, I've not played it yet. No, I haven't seen it. Well, there's a poster for it that I saw in a window in the mall, but I was walking kinda fast. But I read a little bit about it in the forums from some guy or something. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, LIVER SUCKING.

That is all.