Whaddyou talkin' about, "take it easy, lil' man?" I'll take it easy when I log off this server, you leather-coated trollbanger. Shaddup and fork over the ALE!

I donna have a drinkin' problem. It all goes in my mouth, and the rest goes on my beard fer later. Shut the yap trap 'fore I stuff a flaginnin it.

[Belches loudly.]

See here, this whole game is littered wis booze. Every tavern you go into, liquor on everrry table. Every house, liquor in everrry cabinet. Liquor, liquor, liquor.

They oughta've called this game "Neversober nights."

Thas right, I'm done with that tankard, I need ANOTHER. A bigger one. MEAD, WENCH!! I've NOT had too mush. God you're so FAT. Thas what thisis about isinit? You. A fatty. Fat butt. You godda wiggle into that chainmail one cheek at a time doncha sister? I'm not an angry drunk, imma nan honest drunk. So just hook me up wit another drink fore I lose this axe between those massive foldsa flab you're packin' in the trunk, sweetheart. You heard me!!

Gawd, why doesn't someone straghtsen UP this tavern anywayzsses? These tables'reall CROOKED. I'll sit downcuz I waNNA sit down. Adventurers SUCK.

[The angry dwarf is suddenly very morose, his head dangling limply over the table, dribbling.]

Itscuzza mom-n-dad back in the diamond mines. I NEVER LEARNED TA LOVE!!

[Could the angry dwarf be weeping?]

[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Mike, who's email alias was (I'm not making this up) "hottmale6969." Way to be, Mike.]