We've got a lock on "The One." He's running through the post office level banging on the "x" button repeatedly.

We have him now. All units, close in. "The One" will not escape the Matrix this time. Yes, we've pinpointed his location. He's in the post office, and he's trying to aim and shoot with the analog sticks on his dual shock controller somewhat comically.

Yes, he's just gone into bullet-time and slaughtered two operatives with a split-kick. No, no I believe it was luck -- now he's just doing the split kick down the corridor, over and over again. He must've just learned how to do it.

He's sipping Kool Aid and showing his moves off to his friend from school. Strike now! He's distracted. He can't figure out how to get past the tear gas. Wait, wait, now his friend says he knows how to get past it. They're fighting over the controller. Kool Aid has been spilled -- The One's mom is gonna be PISSED.

Our work here is done.

Victim Pic Small

Hmmm. His friend is just running up and doing backflips off of every wall. I suppose if "He" is "The One" then his friend must be ... "Number Two."

Score: 8.1; Total Votes: 2646 as of 2009-12-09.

Many readers simply don't understand what qualifies a game for the "Tingle Awards."

In PlanetSide, I've perfected a new type of class. "Support Slacker."

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