I have what I believe to be conclusive evidence that the Archon’s Minions EverQuest guild FAKED the Dragon-Slayings.

Hello everyone. Thank you for taking a break from your leveling and lewting to listen to our findings. After months of research I believe that I can finally and conclusively debunk the claims made by Archon’s Minions that they successfully killed Lord Nagafen, the EverQuest fire dragon.

Let’s begin with the first of my commission’s findings.

Why, if the alleged Dragon-Slayings took place on November 16, 2002, are the images posted on the Archon’s Minions Guild homepage marked with creation dates anywhere from 4:00 PM on November 16 to 8:30 PM on November 18th!? Are we expected to believe that the alleged dragon-killing took place over the course of two whole days? Those numbers don’t add up, Archon’s Minions. Or should I say: Archon’s DECEIVERS?

Next slide, please. Let’s take a look at the “screenshots” captured from the alleged “slaying” event. The timestamp on this screenshot taken by “Bloodsaage” the level 52 Warrior indicates that this screen capture was made at 4:38 PM. If you look at this digitally enhanced area of the photo here, you can clearly see the figure of “BainDramage” the Level 54 Dwarf in the chamber. Now look at THIS photograph, taken by “Keela” the Cleric at 5:22 PM. LOOK THERE! BainDramage is partially obscured by the foot of the dragon but down in the chat window we can see him saying, “Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late.” Does Archon’s Minions seriously expect us to believe that the Dwarf is greeting everyone at least 46 minutes AFTER his arrival? We’re not fooled.

Please, hold your questions until the end of the presentation.

Now then, let’s take a look at another of Keela’s alleged “screenshots” of the supposed “dragon slaying.” BainDramage is standing here, and just above and behind him is “Whizzbenger” the level 49 Cleric. Look closely at their shadows, and now see here the light source on this wall. In this overlay, you can see I’ve triangulated the position of the light source. I’ve also molded a simulation of there positions out of clay in this 3D model. Note when I hold up my pen light the obvious discrepancies in the position of the shadows on this screenshot. What could explain these discrepancies? Could it be that THE IMAGE WAS DIGITALLY MANIPULATED?

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to postulate that Archon’s Minions FAKED the Dragon-Slaying on a Photoshop-enabled PC in the Nevada Desert during the weekend of November 16-17, 2002! What would motivate them to perpetrate such a heinous fraud? Were they perhaps jealous of the successful Naggy Raid of my guild, The Union of Socialist Dwarf Republicans, during the wee hours of September 21st, 2002? Their timing is awfully suspicious!

Please, don’t leave. I’m not done yet. We still have exhibits #6-37 to discuss! And see here, I haven’t even got to the damning diagram of the “Magic” Magic missile trajectory! Okay, fine, go back to hiding your heads in the sand -- but THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!

Victim Pic Small

The people have a right to know! And the Frogloks. They have a right to know, too! And the Elves. The Trolls, it's optional, I mean, maybe they have a right to know. But definitely the people, the Frogloks, the Elves, the Dwarves, and maybe the Iksar.

Score: 7.54; Total Votes: 2155 as of 2009-12-09.

I Have a Great Idea for a Daily Victim, Provided You Fill Out the Following Paperwork.

I take issue with yesterday’s assertion that my guild faked the EverQuest dragon-slaying.

Back To Index

Links to This Article