We’ve got to stop hiring people just because they’re good at LAN parties.

Look I’m not trying to be too hard on Roy or anything. I’m not saying I don’t like his Mohawk. Or the jewelry. Or the studs on his pants that rip up the conference room furniture.

All I’m saying is that we might have been a little hasty bringing him on board as the head of Client Services just because he’s the best at flying the airplanes at our LAN parties. No no, he’s a NICE guy, but the VP of our third biggest account started sweating bullets in our latest project status conference when Roy stood up and asserted: “We don’t code our products for SMACKTARDS.”

He then lit a match with the fly of his jeans and started smoking a hand-rolled cigarette.

Well, no, I’m not trying to question Roy’s ability to manage our customer relationships, although we should take a good hard look at that. And I’m definitely not questioning his ability to fly a plane and hit an enemy tank no matter what the altitude. I’m just drawing to your attention that we may not have the best hiring process. Or any hiring process, for that matter, short of throwing LAN parties. With drinking. We still haven’t found the cat after the last one. And somehow the next day we had two new guys on our board of directors, one of whom can only speak Cantonese and communicates mostly by pointing to things and making machine-gun gestures accompanied by noises with his lips.

It’s just a procedural question, that’s all...

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Now, let's talk about Ripley, our new head engineer. This morning I saw him in the server room asking why "none of these machines have monitors." ... dude.

Score: 7.71; Total Votes: 2892 as of 2009-12-09.

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