Wow look at you! You’re home early! Oh yeah, dinner plans, we were gonna go out to Valentine’s dinner and why you ask, why aren’t I dressed? Why am I playing Metroid? What’s wrong with the TV? Nothing’s wrong, sweetie-lumpkins, I turned it upside down. I totally forgot about our Valentine’s dinner plans but let me answer your question with one of my own:

Didja ever smoke a Chia-Pet?

Let me tell YOU, it’s the gift that keeps on giving! I don’t know how long it took you to grow that ... lamb ... sheep ... chia ... thing, but WOW, one big puff and it’s time to call the WHAMbulance!

I’d never been able to get past the third level of Metroid before, but look at me now! The secret was to unplug the controller! And overturn the TV! Is that even Metroid anymore? I can’t tell! It’s hard to see from inside my pillow-fort. Do you think I can bring it with me to the restaurant? Honey? Honey?