Yah, check this thing out. Full color screen, Palm OS organizer, built-in PCS cellular phone, even a little keyboard. This thing has it all. I’d never be able to score one of these if I was seeing anybody.

I’ve got everything on here. See, I press here to bring up my personal phone and contact list. This is where I would list all the hot girls I’m seeing or all of the guys I party with on weekends. Of course, there aren’t any phone numbers there except you and my parents. If there were, I couldn’t have afforded this thing.

Here’s my email. That’s right, there’s a little keyboard. How cool is that? It’s pretty cool, just short of actual human companionship. But let’s be reasonable: if I were seeing anyone, would I have actually have shelled out half a grand for this thing? Nope.

95% of my airtime is spent downloading dirty pictures while I’m in public bathroom stalls.

Anyways, I’ve got a little program on here that plays chess with me. What else was I gonna do on Fridays, you know? That’s awesome. And here’s my day planner, so I can list off all my dates. Haha! That’s a joke, of course.