Holy sweet bejeebus. Will you look at this? I barely just met this chick on EverQuest and already she’s sending me the kinky emoticons.

Like, look at this one, check it out: She sent me a less-than sign followed by the number three. That’s right, “<3”. What the hell is that? What does that mean?

Did I just get teabagged?

Maybe it’s supposed to be a pair of short, stubby fingers. Is she giving me the peace sign, or flashing gang symbols? I’m fine with joining an EverQuest guild, but I’d best be staying out of “the hood” if that’s what she’s getting’ on with.

What? Oh ... oh, it’s supposed to be a heart. A sideways heart. Ah, I get it, yah I see it. Hunh.

Gotta say I’m kinda disappointed man. A heart? Blah. Look, how about I just pretend she sent me a pair of boobs and go to bed happy? Yeah, that’s the new plan. Back me up on this one.