I can’t believe it -- here, come to the window! Look at that. No, across the street. No, not right across the street, across the street and down the block. No no no, you can’t see through the window, but if you look at the wide-angle traffic mirror attached to the telephone pole next to his apartment building, you can totally see through his kitchen window screen, and in the reflection of his hallway mirror you can CLEARLY see his PC monitor.

AND HE’S PLAYING DOOM III!

It must be that super secret cracked leak war3z ... thing. Wow, what I’d give to get my hands on that. But, since we can’t, help me get some screenshots.

Here, we’ll set my digital camera up on this tripod -- get me the binoculars! Now, hold them real still in front of the camera. Oh man, this is gonna be HUGE. Stay still while I focus. You know this thing can take movies, as well? I’ll snap a few of those. Can you stop your hand from shaking? It’s making the movie all jittery.

I got it! Quick, let’s hurry up and post these on my website. “Exclusive DOOM III Footage!” “See the game in all its glory!” Oh man, everyone will want to know how I scooped these high-quality game shots, so representative of the final product. Score!