Hey -- hey guys? Damn this stupid headset. Uhm, hello? Bunch of random strangers on the Internet? Yeah, now that the round is over ... can someone help out? I uh ... Look, I need one of you to log off and call the Framingham, Massachusetts Police Department and send them to my house, okay? I’ll give you the address.

Okay ... uh, someone say “copy” if you heard me. Guys? Guys, you listening? Okay ... okay stop trying to teamkill. I need one of you to send the police to my house.

No! No, I’m NOT camping. I’m ... listen to me ... I’m not lagging out. I’m ... look, it’s a bit difficult to use the Dual Shock 2 controller right now, okay? Can someone just get on the telephone and call my local police? No, I can’t do it myself, I’m on the floor of the living room, and the only thing within squirming distance is my PS2 and SOCOM: Navy Seals microphone and headset.

Oh, that’s nice guys. Just shoot me while my character is standing there pleading for help. Oh, what’s that? Oh very nice, put a smoke grenade on my head. Mnnn. That sure is a hoot, gang. Look at me. Hooting.