Papa, oh papa! They took my AK!

We were playing Counter-Strike on the Italy map, and I was in the wine cellar, cradling my AK as a mamma caresses a newborn.

I had saved up for that AK-47 for many, many rounds! With it I hoped to earn my second of many kills, the first being from when I grenaded myself in the middle of the street. I blame the packet loss.

Then, someone stabbed me from behind with a knife.

But here, the weeping papa! He dropped his lousy MP5 and picked up My AK! Then he ran toward the building we were guarding and gunned down all my teammates with it. There was blood everywhere. And he said, "Thx dude."

Thx! Thx for my precious AK that I had spent every last dollar on!

I hate my life. I'm going to start drinking like you and ma!