That new kitten is either howling from fear or mocking my Unreal Tournament skillz.

Yeah yeah, our new kitten is cute and fluffy. Yeah yeah, everyone coo at his tiny little paws and big soft eyes, woo woo. Lemme tell you something about that little beast: he’s all quiet and sweet now, but the moment I fire up some Unreal Tournament 2003 he starts howling like a tiny banshee.

Look, now he’s acting innocent and playing with my shoelaces. I’m not fooled, little kitten! The thing is, once I start playing the game, I’m not sure if he’s terrified by the noise of the rocket launchers and that goofy announcer ... or if he’s mocking my skillz.

You heard me, mocking! Like somehow my flag defense isn’t good enough for his feline sensitivity. He howls and howls ... derisively, if you ask me! Okay, fine CAT. C’mere. Let’s see how well YOU defend the base!

See? See that? Look at him -- he’s using the keyboard. Ha ha! You can’t defend the flag for CRAP, you little rodent! Now people are shooting you with rocket launchers! HA HA.

Don’t look at me like that.

Look, the kitten started it.

[Daily Victim idea submitted -- whether he knew it or not -- by fellow GameSpy employee Joost Schuur. Who just got a kitten. And lacks skillz.]

Victim Pic Small

Now he's acting all cute and innocent again. See? He know he won! I'M WATCHING YOU, KITTEN. I'M ON TO YOUR GAME.

Score: 7.82; Total Votes: 1593 as of 2009-12-09.

My Unreal Bombing Run tactics make great men weep and lesser men crumble.

Until I find out who chopped my coconut tree, the Animal Crossing hatchet executions will COMMENCE!

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