So, you ask me, what could I do for your company? Sure, I'm a recent college grad and yes, my resume is awfully light and sure, my grade-point-average wasn't great and OKAY, so maybe there was that felony conviction. But I think I'd be a real asset in this entry level position.

Why? Because, thanks to Super Mario Sunshine, I've honed my platform-jumping skills to perfection. I'm a razor-sharp platforming savant.

Hang on, don't reach for your phone just yet. This isn't an idle boast. I can jump on moving platforms or stationary platforms. I can jump on rotating platforms. I can jump on spinning platforms, the kind that dump you off if you're not careful. Sir, if it's floating above a void, I can find a way to jump on it and -- moreover, what should really appeal to your team -- I can find a way to jump off of it and land precisely on another similarly precarious platform.

This is no one-shot deal, either. No, I can jump from platform to platform hovering mysteriously over a great void for hours on end. I'm willing to do that for your team.

I'm also really good at watering plants.