Boy, when I bought my new Dreamcast, never could I have guessed the culinary delights that would await. For example, I just had a second helping of that new fish-game, "Seaman." Even though I used up all my tartar sauce on Ecco the Dolphin, and I'm not normally a fan of sea food, all I can say is hot damn! Hey, whoa, wait -- who are you? What are you doing here?

Fargo: I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, this is Fargo, the author of the piece, and I would like to apologize for what you are now reading. See, once Gabe drew me a picture of a guy eating a Dreamcast, I could not, for the life of me, get the headline "SEAMAN IS DAMN TASTY!" out of my head. I knew that the double-entendre was morally reprehensible, juvenile, weak, unwarranted, disgusting, and that my mother simply raised me better.

And yet, I have the mind of a small child.

Once I had the headline in my head, I simply couldn't write anything else. I tried. At one point I actually typed, "HELLO, I HAVE A DREAMCAST IN MY MOUTH." But I had to delete it. No, once I thought of the SEAMAN headline, I knew it had to be posted. The depravity must be made public. I knew I would post it despite the fact that hardly anyone has heard of the Game. I knew I would post it despite the fact that on the whole you guys prefer the PC victims to the console ones. I knew I would post it even though my mother would read this.

In short, up yours! I am driven by forces that I alone cannot comprehend. You're either with me or against me on this one, but for God's sake just don't stand idly by, get down their to those radio buttons and VOTE THIS YOUNG MAN TO HELL.

Oh yeah, and Read this Comic.

Thank you.