Our LAN administrator has been rigging our Warcraft III games using remote desktops

What frustrated me the most about Warcraft III was my inability to keep control of my units once my forces grew large enough. It's like, as soon as I rolled my army out of my base, Ted would march his hero in through the back door. Worse, my defenses would always be chasing off after something else. I had come to the conclusion that I sucked.

But yesterday evening, after another hearty pounding, I decided to abandon the few peons that remained and walk over to congratulate Ted. Upstairs I went, down the hall with the flickering fluorescents, then into the darkened set of cubicles next to the humming server farm. Ted sat there in his giant rotating chair, a series of ten monitors around him in two semi-circular stacks. He was frantically working several mice and keyboards, and didn't even notice me walk up.

What I saw on the screens stunned me. Maps of Warcraft on all of them, each one showing a different players' perspective. Ted was using the remote desktop application to snoop on us all! I watched as he leaned over to check out Crenshaw's base, then he reached up and flicked a mouse to send Crenshaw's defenses off somewhere else. Afterwards he attacked the abandoned base, chuckling in a low throaty growl. "His insolence must be punished," he said aloud.

"WHAT are you DOING!?" I blurted.

Ted froze in mid-motion and then slowly turned around in his seat. He was stroking the office cat, and seemed completely unabashed. "We meet again, Mr. Balmer," he said. "But it appears now that I have the upper hand!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, pointing at the screens. "You're cheating!"

He raised a gloved fist. "There is no 'good' and 'evil,' boy. Only POWER, and those willing to SEIZE IT!" As I stormed off in a huff, he called after me: "I am GOD here, Balmer! You hear me? GOD!"

[Daily Victim idea submitted by GameSpy reader Mr. Pid.]

Victim Pic Small

I can understand, almost expect his betrayal ... but I can't believe that Mr. Whiskers went along so complacently.

Score: 8.44; Total Votes: 1885 as of 2009-12-09.

I sent my resume and portfolio to the Unreal team, unaware of what was to follow.

Good base defense requires intimate awareness of one's surroundings and uncanny perception

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