Hold the phone guys, I've another killer idea. Anyone ever heard of Vivendi-Universal?

Whoa whoa, slow down, don't walk away. I know that my plan to create the ultimate Neverwinter scenario turned into an unmitigated disaster. But hear me out on this one! I've got an even BIGGER plan, and this one is foolproof. Mostly.

You guys heard of Vivendi-Universal? Of course you have -- big giant company fulla Frenchies who own everything. Anyways, I see here in the New York Times today that they're going to sell their Games division. Okay, what does that mean for you and me? Well, their games division includes Universal Interactive but also Sierra and Blizzard. Uh-hunh, THAT Blizzard.

So, whoever snatches up that chunk of pie will own ALL the Diablos, the Half-Lifes, the WarCrafts, the Empire Earths, the Crash Bandicoots, the Tribes, even Battle.net. I mean, holy CRAP. It would be like buying an amusement park.

Here, look at the article yourself. Think about it! In just a couple of weeks, we could swagger into a big board room at Blizzard Entertainment. I would sit down on a big leather swivel chair at the head of the table and Bill Roper would stoop down to light my cigar. I'd put my sneakers up on the marble table, lean back, and announce:

"Okay boys. I want StarCraft II. PRONTO!"

Oh, yah, and I'd demand that they give us a bunch of cool Diablo II weapons, just for us. Yeah, and we'd all be moderators on Battle.net so we can kick people out at will. Oh! And if Sierra was going to publish the next Counter-Strike game I'd demand that we all get Harrier jump jets. What? What's that?

Well, yeah, of course it's not cheap. But let me tell you in today's market 1.1 billion Euros is a steal. We can raise a billion Euros, right? I mean, how much is that in Canadian dollars? Hmm. Well, there's got to be some way to raise the money. Who's with me on this one?

[To be continued...]

Victim Pic Small

Okay, assuming we take Carl's savings and hock Jim's car, that gives us ... $4200. It's a good nest egg, we can build something from that. How much is that in Euros again?

Score: 8.03; Total Votes: 1979 as of 2009-12-09.

Kids, there will be no "Super Guinea Pig Ball" in this house. Let me explain.

Playing Day of Defeat while on the phone with your woman can really stress an otherwise healthy relationship

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