Check it -- okay, he's playing Resident Evil it looks like. Here, you hold the binoculars, tell me when he's fighting zombies. Is he fighting zombies? Now? Okay, watch how he moves sideways when I dial "9." There!

Hahah, that's great. If we do it again he'll start hitting the controller. I consider this to be kind of a meta-game. I give myself ten points for making him miss a shot, fifty points if he dies, and a hundred point bonus if he throws the controller down. Wait, what's that? Is that a zombie dog? Zombie dog? 4! 4! Now we move in for the kill with the 8 7 8 7! Look, he just turned his back to the dogs, OWWHH! Clean kill! There's fifty points. Let me know what he's doing with the controller. Did he just throw it down? Wait, he's smashing it? Oh hell yah, how many points should that be? Wait, he's going to chuck it out the windo-

Oh CRAP put the binoculars away, he sees us! Put them down -- He -- uh oh, okay, pretend I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone, just talking. Blah blah, I'm talking on the phone, and you don't have binoculars. He's looking right at us. He's looking at the WaveBird. He's looking at the cell phone ... Now he's ... can you see what he's doing? Is that a baseball bat? Uh -- 9 1 1! 9 1 1!!