Attention co-workers:

I understand that the break-room Xbox is a popular way to blow off steam during the lunch hour. Being that we're a technology company, I also aknowledge our mutual respect for Japanese-style fighting games, including the likes of Dead or Alive 3. I myself enjoy ocassionally "throwing down" with some "smack," provided I've cleared it with my manager first.

However, this Tuesday there was an uncomfortable incident in the videoconferencing room, which sits across the hall from the break area. We were meeting with the Takahashi Group regarding their wireless technology when an impromptu tournament apparently broke out next door. I don't begrudge the timing of the tournament or even the fact that I wasn't invited (yet again), however, just their President began to sign our lengthy contract I heard a lot of screaming from the break area. Apparently one of the matches in the finals was a complete blowout, because somebody -- I won't name names, Wilson -- threw the controller to the floor and cried out:

"FRAWRESS VICTORRRY!!"

As our Japanese delegates looked at one another and wondered if they were being made fun of, a certain individual proceeded to run up and down the hallway screaming "YOU ROOSE MOSSA EVERY-FING!" while pointing at his opponents.

In this case it all turned out for the better, as our clients took me aside later and asked if they would be permitted to "Apply a throw-down of the skills upon us," but nonetheless I think it put the deal in jeopardy and such behavior should not be tolerated.

Furthermore, Wilson, if I had been there I would've kicked your sorry ass up and down the map. That is all.