Mmaaaa-aan, I'm serious. This babe in the Arcade chat room is totally on to me. It's my new user icon, AKA EXTREME CHICK MAGNET. It's like throwing chum in the booty ocean.

No no dude check this honey out. She just private messaged me: "I'm from Oregon :D :D" You see that dude? DOUBLE D-smileys! Chicks are big on the smileys, but when they bust out the TWO smileys, they're as good as undoing your belt.

Okay man, whatever, look through the message history. See that? No, right there, the winky. Bigtime wink, right after she saw my pic. This one's HUNGRY. What? No, she wasn't patronizing me, no way man, that was like a real wink. Look at the double-spaces before she typed the semicolon -- she's moist, I'm telling you.

Hot damn, new message -- HOSE ME DOWN! Look at that! A colon and a capital P ... she's showing TONGUE. This babe is ready to party. I'm gonna show her my home page.