What's that? You're joking, that isn't ... it IS! A legitimate Neverwinter Nights BETA CD! Early playable code, almost ready for release. Ohhhh.... look how it sparkles in the morning light. Rainbow glimmers beaming from its polished golden surface. Can I touch it? Can I rub it? Can I ... rub it on my belly?

Look, what would it take for you to give me that CD? Hold off, don't put it away. Every man has his price. Let me make you an offer. Ten things, my friend. Ten things you get if you give me that Neverwinter Nights beta CD.

10. My entire Metal Gear Solid action figure collection. Yes. Even Sniper Wolf. All I request is a few minutes alone with her before I hand them over.

9. My sister's telephone number. No, her real number, not the 1-800 number I gave you last time.

8. My unauthorized stash of Victoria's Secret catalogs. Everything from their Summer '99 sale on.

7. You know that original Amazing Spider-Man issue 1 comic that I have? That's right! I will LET you look at it. But you can't take it out of the bag.

6. My whole DVD collection, which, while fairly small, does in fact contain Tron and the anniversary edition of Caddyshack.

5. Uh ... steak. I will cook you steak.

4. A sensual massage.

3. The contents of my piggy bank. Here, shake it! You don't know what's in there, but it's very very heavy! Wouldn't you like to find out how much lewt is inside? Just hand me that shiny CD and you'll know!

2. These burned pajamas are all that remains of Adolf Hitler.

1. Denise Richards' Email address. NO JOKE. Don't ask me how I got it, but I know how you can get it!

Just hand over the CD! C'mon! ... I'll be your friend?