Okay, here's the new deal: One of you run forward, I'll punch the goalie. Whoever has the ball should shoot. Okay, get ready. I'm going to punch the goalie now. Are you ready? KAPOW!

Dude you didn't SHOOT. You have to shoot the ball. The "A" button, not the "B" button. Hang on, as soon as we get the ball again, I'll punch the goalie. Ready? WHAMS! I decked him! What are you doing? You passed the ball to Bill again. The whole point of Sega Soccer Slam is not to pass the ball like a bunch of namby-pamby short-bus pissant mammaboy limp-wangs, the object is to strut around in masks and tights and wreck some chumps.

So here, I've got the ball, I'm gonna chuck it your way and then I'm gonna hit the goalie. You ready? Here. BAMS! You like that? What the hell, you didn't take the shot. Let's stop trying to play as a team here, guys. This is a goalie-punching game, got-dammit, I'm not walking off this field 'til we have some points on the board and some cleats in some guy's face. Run forward, I'll punch the goalie. Okay, fine. I'll punch YOU.