Global Operations’ Intel character class allows me to fulfill at long last my natural inclination to command

That's right, prior to Global Operations, these first-person shooting games required natural-born "Kommandants" like myself to be right up on the front lines like the enlisted men. This was a problem because handling a weapon requires the so-called "skillz" that men of rank like myself don't possess. And you know, half those games don't let you type to the other players once you die. How was I supposed to command the men in that condition?

But Global Ops is a different story. I can sign up for the "Intel" class and demonstrate my natural leadership skillz. I get a map, and all my little men -- most of which I consider disposable for the cause -- are shown as little arrows. Like any good leader, I can click on them and them tell them what to do. Watch:

"Shoot that guy! You! Run up and shoot that other guy! Now -- you! You, go and ... shoot ... that guy! What are you doing? Are you guys not shooting ... the guys? Okay, fine. You! Shoot! The Guy! Aw crap."

Victim Pic Small

You! Did I order you to get shot? Did I? Hunh?

Score: 6.19; Total Votes: 2004 as of 2009-12-09.

There comes a time in every man’s life when he asks himself: What would Solid Snake do?

It looks like playing Agent Under Fire will have to wait until after "Walkies."

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