Hello everyone, welcome to the NVIDIA booth at the Game Developers Conference. Raise your hands if you do graphics or game design -- wow, nearly all of you. Gather round and listen up while I show you this incredible demo of our next generation GeForce card in action: behold the glory of Mi-A55!

Our latest generation of technology is capable of pouring out over 1.2 gigaquintillion triangles -- that's over three times a buttload. And you know what that means: you can render the same dumb crap even prettier than before. You can release the same game as two years ago, but with even spikier aliens! That's right. Put off the innovations you've been dreading, and continue to release the same slop, but with even prettier screenshots on the back of the box.

That's right! Why optimize when you can just demand higher system specs? More polygons! More rippling water! More bumps to map! More shadows! More moving lights! MORE graphical power means you'll have even MORE processor cycles to NOT use thinking up clever gameplay. Just imagine the marketing bulletpoints.

Our benchmarking shows that the next generation GeForce will allow you to buy a 60% faster sports car.

If there's one thing I'd like you to take away from this presentation, it's this simple mantra: "Why innovate when I can pull a great game out of Mi-A55?" [Roaring applause] Thank you, thank you....