No man, you name the arena, and -- when it comes to the Microsoft Office Assistants -- the clip is goin' DOWN. Look at him. He's ... smarmy. What is with those eyes? Or that metal smirk? Look, Clippy's got nothing on the cartoon kitty. Check out the way he meows when I get incoming mail... here, lemme show you. Send me a letter. Look!! He meowed! And when I spell-check, he puts on little glasses. The paperclip just bends himself around like a Chinese acrobat, it's disgusting. I mean, hands down, when it comes to Microsoft Office, it's all about the kitty.

Oh ... oh now you want to talk about the claymation Einstein? Yeah, now he's tough. Like, when you open a new Word document, and he comes walking in, and drinks his coffee, and then he throws his mug on the ground? Totally GANGSTA style. Damn, I can't even type an email with Einstein lookin' over my shoulder. Yeah, Clippy don't got a prayer against the 'stein. Kitty don't, neither, but I think Einstein and the kitty are friends. Kinda like Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.

You put them in a steel cage together, hell, even if you team up Clippy, the puppy dog, AND the little robot guy, Einstein and the kitty would kick their asses. Einstein would have the clip down on the mat, and kitty would be trying to pull him off, you know, 'cuz Einstein would have the chair ... or maybe an announcer's table.

I'm just telling it like it is. When you edit an Excel document, who do YOU want in your corner, hombre?