That's right citizens, once again justice has triumphed. Despite the dastardly machinations of a group of well armed and dedicated terrorists, the plot to bomb our large freedom-loving red spraypainted "x" has been foiled. For the next minute or so, the world is once again safe for democrazy.

Rest easy, fellow peoples! It may be one, even two minutes before another such assault can be mounted on either of our two red spraypainted "x"s. And believe me, we'll be ready. We're buying weapons as we speak. There's no need to think we'll be resting on our laurels during these blissful seconds of peace, where mothers may love their children under a blue sky unclouded with the specter of International terrorism.

Freedom and the will of a God-loving people have again triumphed, at least for a few moments. Put your children to bed tonight secure in the knowledge that for several more seconds, the red spraypainted "x"s are secure from the forces of unmitigated fundamentalistic terrorism. Amen.