Okay dude, cut the Day of Defeat out or I'm going to cut it out for you! BACK OFF! Don't make me run with these! One snip and your DSL line is history.

You and I both know it's your turn to clean out the fridge. I did it last year. I made the mistake of opening up a triangular piece of foil and the fumes it emitted left me blind in one eye for weeks. There was also a tupperware container that I presumed was brown. However, I discovered that whatever substance that had been inside it had tainted the container, I can only assume by chemically bonding with the plastic itself to form a new and unique substance that smelled oddly sour despite the lid being fused shut many months before.

There was a salad located in a plastic bag. The lettuce had long since crumpled into a wet brown mush. The mush proceeded to evaporate. The bag, which then contained a brownish stain, became fused with the plastic refridgerator tray. When it was finally time to clean it up, I actually couldn't scrape the remains of the bag offof the tray. It was as though it had been painted there, or burned into place via some sort of "Shroud of Turin" phenomena. There was no trace of the Salad, only whispered rumors that it would someday return to the refridgerator in what the resident fungus no doubt called "The Second Cleaning."

I mean it, dude! I'm not going back in there! I'm still haunted by the visions of that veal cutlet that had long since ceased to be veal, or even a cutlet. It's your turn man. Look, I'm not afraid to use these!