I turned NASCAR 4 on sim mode and picked my car and I had a custom car and it was spraypainted with the powerman 5000 logo and it was green and it was black and it had my favorite number and I picked the Daytona 500 and I qualified really high and then I was gonna race and then the dude said gentlemen start your enginges and so I did and then dad plugged in the little refridgerator in the computer room so he could have cold beer and then I drove fast and I was in 8th and then there was the fourth corner on the 20th lap and I punched it and I was in 7th and then Dale Earnhardt Jr. was riding my butt and I bumped him hard and then he passed me and then I smacked the wall and then I was in tenth but then I made an inside move and then dad cranked up the air conditioner and said it wasn't the heat it was the humidity and there was a wreck and then there were flags and I didn't pass the guy until the flags were gone and then I had to pit and then Dad turned on the fan and the stereo and the widescreen TV and the VCR and started watching Beetlejuice and then I drove fast and I passed the green car and then I was in 5th and then I took a corner really really good and then dad turned on the other TV so he could see the ballgame and started using the hairdryer and then everything went all daaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrkkkkkkk!! [breathes]

And Now, In the Interests of Equal Time, A Rebuttal from Joshua's Dad:

You kids need to get out more.