Yeahhh boyyzzz -- dim the lights and check these puppies out. Aw yah. That's right. I bought these right off the rear-end of some raver on the Boulevard last night. Blinky, blinky, blinky -- awww hunh.

See, my theory is that, when a game developer "makes it," he goes all out and shows up at industry parties with battery-operated pants. Now, truthfully, I haven't "made it" yet. So far I've made four and a half levels for Unreal Trounament, not including that one that I made that's textured entirely with a picture of Kevin's head. Or, uh, I guess you shouldn't count the one that's just a big lava doughnut.

But hang with me here. What I'm saying is, by purchasing the battery-operated pants in advance, I'm already there. I look the part. When I go in for a job interview, blinking like a Christmas Tree, brighter than a disco, louder than a video arcade, they're gonna say, "WHOA! This guy's all pro."

Then I proceed to sit myself down and to their awe and astonishment I bust out the goods -- my best level to date. LAVA DOUGHNUT II: The Apocalpyse.

Whoa dude, I'm dimming. Could you plug me in?