Well yes, seriously now. With a week to go until my birthday I thought I'd make a list for you guys of everything I want, and I realized that, on the whole, boxes that make noise and react to me whenever I push buttons should about do it.

I'll need a palm pilot, a remote control television, a Playstation 2, a Dreamcast, a CD player, a garage door opener, and one of those little pocket casino games. That's a start. They all make noises. And they've got lots of buttons.

Moving forward, I would like to move to a phase in my life featuring more flashing lights. A DVD Player, a widescreen telvision, a laptop, and perhaps a disco ball hooked up to a clapper. Oh wait, it needs to have a button, otherwise it's useless to me. How about a remote control with a button hooked up to a device that makes a loud clapping noise, which in turn triggers off a disco ball and lots of colored lights? Oh man. That's what I want. I'd never have to leave the house.