Thinking "big picture," I really don't see myself as so much of an online games "player" -- I'm more of an online gaming "entertainer." So many of today's shoot-em-up games are drab and poopy. Brick walls, rusted metal pipes, and terrorists in ski masks? It can all get a little teensy-weensy depressing if you ask me!

That's why I like to keep my teammates on their toes! Everybody loves a little "release" now and then, like the ol' flashbang in the face. Whoo-hoohooh00! Nothing brightens up your day like that... you're all tense, trying to find the bomb or the last hidden sniper from the enemy team, and WHOA BOY! Now everything's all white and whacky! WHee-he-hoop!

Sometimes I'm laughing so hard when the next game round starts I can't even play for a few minutes. I just stand there and miss out on the chance to buy new weapons I'm laughing so hard. And honking my horn.

But oh boy, nobody needs cheering up like those rooty-tooty-fruity sniper teammates of mine. They sit there and crouch there like grumpy bumps on logs looking for the enemy. Lemme tell you, a grenade to their butt sho-ore puts them on their feet! Of course I can't hear them type to me after the funloving blast knocks them two stories to the ground below where they die in a puddle of their own supersillywilly blood, but I'm sure they're laughing as hard as I am.

Skiddledeedoooewp! Time to go wallcheat my way to frolicking fun and do my favorite terrorist team magic trick, "pretend I don't know I have the bomb." Wha-wa-waa-waaaaa!