What is it with computers these days? Every day they're getting smaller and skinnier. I can't even properly hold a cell phone at this point, I don't need my computers getting smaller. Perhaps you don't understand what I'm saying ... but then again, perhaps you haven't found it neccessary to use a pair of friggin' CHOPSTICKS in order to insert your friggin' 3D card.

Damn my fat fat fingers!

I've tried many, many keyboards. Those 'ergonomic' keyboards are great, provided that you are -- say -- a wispy bolemic heroin chick. Me? I'm what they call ... "big knuckled." No, I take that back. Let's just call it what it is. I'm a fat, fat fingered man. I type 6 words a minute. Perhaps you don't understand what I'm saying ... but then again, perhaps you haven't tried to hit the "T" key within a game to talk, and you ended up switching to the grenade launcher with the 6 key, priming a grenade with the G key, spraypainting your logo on the wall with the F key, then executing your rocket-jump alias with the R key all at the same time, causing you to instantly burst into a shower of gibs when all you really intended to do was type out a smiley face.

DAMN MY FAT FAT FINGERS!

[Daily Victim idea submitted by fat-fingered GameSpy reader Chris Ross.]