Look, you know how I get when someone touches my stuff, and here's my stuff, and it's definitely been touched. Last night when I left, the little one-inch tall plastic Indian I have here was standing on my monitor pointing his little blue rifle over toward the entrance to the coffee break room -- you know, just in case. And this morning I came in and he's clearly -- CLEARLY -- facing toward the water cooler next to the coffee break room. As if that makes any sense.

Yes it's a big deal! To move my Indian, someone would've had to actually walk into my cubicle, which I posted on the bulletin board was totally off limits. Then, you know, what was he doing? Touchin' my Indian? Moving my things -- why? WHY WOULD YOU MOVE THE INDIAN? Was someone inspecting him? Fondling my native? Sliding him through wet exposed underarm hair? It could happen!

No, I can't get back to work. Everytime I look up I see the Indian has been moved. I tried to move him back but it's just not the same. Don't people undersand I put him there for a reason? People don't just stick little blue plastic Indian toys that they found onto their PC monitors willy-nilly, is all I'm saying. No, no, just go away! I don't need your help.

I need some private time with the Chief.