We Have to Cross Out 'Fun,' It Just Didn't Fit in with Our New Game's Business Model

Look look, I know it's tough to scale back, but hey, we need to ship by the holiday buying season and it's best to get our priorities settled now, while we still can. "Get our ducks in line," as we used to say when I sold dish soap, before I got hired as a game producer.

Now then, I think we've settled on the main components of the project on this white board. But, you game developers are once again trying to do too much. So we gotta scale back. Less is more. You know. Do a little, but do it right. Don't spread yourself thin. Chickens and counting them before the eggs cross the road and break the camel's back and such. You with me?

So, of this list I made here, everything amounts to higher sales except for the part about the game being fun. That's just not in the business plan, boys. Nobody has ever proven in a market survey that fun games necessarily make more money than something with, say, knockers on the box.

We're selling a total package here, boys, not just something for the hobbyists. So, we strike the fun, but there's still a lot of good product here. I think we really narrowed it down to the core elements. So, I say, lop off the second half of that design document -- the one labelled "gameplay?" and let's focus on that first part, the cutscenes with Gwyneth Paltrow and the part where we get John Digweed to bust out the title track. Let's get to work! I smell a hit!

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Wait -- wait -- I'm sorry, boys. I missed chapter 16 in the game design doc, the one about the blood and gore? Yeah, leave that in. My bad. Cut the rest and throw in a few more jumping puzzles to pad it out.

Score: 7.37; Total Votes: 1256 as of 2009-12-09.

Thank You for the Cards and Letters I Received regarding the Alien Popping Out of My Stomach

AK, Jes, I See Fortunes from Za Gibs

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