My Resolution Is So High That I Can't See the Bomb in Counter-strike

Let's be honest, you and I. With a monitor like mine, you only have 21-inches to work with. And how big is 21 inches? It's less than two feet. So you gotta make the most of it. That's why mine's set to 5120x3840 resolution.

It takes a lot of work to crank it up that high, but it's worth it. I had to code the drivers myself. And then, hacking the software -- that, my friend, was quite the chore. But, even though I often get only 6 or 7 frames per second, the extra level of detail is worth it.

Let me elaborate. Just the other day I was playing Counter-Strike on de_dust. I felt so much like I was there that I could feel the sand between my toes. I looked down at the ground and I could see each individual grandule of dirt. In fact, I was so stunned I missed the whole opportunity to buy weapons. Not that I could tell -- at that resolution, the menu is a postage-stamp sized lump in the corner. I'm lucky to even see the guns, much less select them! But it's worth it. Why? Because I could walk up to crates and not just see the woodgrain, I could see the fingernail marks of the mapper who coded the level. S'true.

Details like that make it worth it. A few moments later I was admiring the texture of brick near the big red spraypainted X. I heard the beeping of the bomb-like device. I think my teammates were shouting at me to defuse it -- but I couldn't hear them. Their text was smaller than the microdot writing you see at the bottom of certified checks. Besides, I couldn't even see the bomb.

You know what I did see? An ant. That's right, only at resolutions this high can you actually see the wildlife. He crawled slowly across the dirt and gravel. I watched him. I could see each and every pebble. I saw each little antennae, each tiny, tiny leg whirling as the little tiny creature of God moved forward.

I couldn't help but lean closer and closer to my screen to watch the mechanical marvel of nature go about his tiny, tiny business while around him men killed one another fruitlessly over ideological concerns. Suddenly -- when my face was nearly touching the screen -- I realized that it was a real ant, crawling across my monitor.

And then the bomb went off and killed me. The light was so blindingly bright, I haven't seen anything but yellowish red blurs for days. I may have to up the subscription on my glasses again. Some people would look upon that as a terrible prospect, but I merely see it as an opportunity to prepare my optics for the strain of 7680x5760.

[Daily Victim idea Submitted by GameSpy reader The_Raven42.]

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Could you ... uh ... hand me the mouse?

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I Find Myself Crippled with Paralyzing Fear Whenever I Try to Climb Down a Ladder in an FPS Game

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