Hello, young people.

I'd like to use today's forum to talk about a growing problem. And that problem is none other than that saucy wench starring in those, whatchyacallit, from those -- "Raiders of the Last Tomb" games.

I can't tell you how often I see that young fornicatress galavanting around on gaming websites acting as though she were somehow still news, much less newsworthy, or any conjugation thereof. That's right. Well, I've got some news for that little tart: ALL of the "Tomb Invasion" games since the first couple have sucked! And they've been sucking since well before I had my last erection some years ago!

And yet, despite the poor quality of these continuing Invader games, that pony-tailed sauce, her jumbly bits all bouncing to and fro as she descends into the nether regions of some long-forgotten race's burial grounds, gets more news coverage than a presidential election. Well, I'm sick of it! This Tomb Purveyor woman doesn't need any more publicity -- What she needs is a good swift caning on her firm but pliant buttocks!

And I'm just the man to do it. Email me and let's get this business started before I break another hip.

[Today's Victim inspired by the Feedback of reader Michael Hopkins]