I spawned in, and immediately moved toward the enemy base. I had my route all planned out, juking toward the jump-pad and then instead making a beeline for the ramp. But, here, friend, is the crux of my flawless strategem: I was going to hop the entire time!

I was going to hit the space bar at regular intervals. Perhaps even hold it down. I was to leap! leap! leap! leap! Ad infinitum! Thus rendering me immune to rockets or rails, bullet or buckshot!

And yet, as I hopped up the ramp -- Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! Huyah! -- I was incinerated by a rocket, my innards spewing forth like the undulating whipped topping of a frosted mocchachino.

But HOW!?? I was jumping up and down! JUMPING! Up! ... and down! Certainly I could see getting hit by a rocket were I foolish enough to jump once. Or even twice. But my continuous jumping -- jumping over and over again, as one would in real combat -- certainly the enemy couldn't have seen that coming!

He must've been cheating.